The Daily Friday: Friday 7/14

• Elon launches new AI company amidst investigation into his use of company funds to build a “secret glass house.” Man is a king supervillain.

• Just let out a huge sigh of relief. The Secret Service officially ended their investigation into the cocaine I left at the White House with no leads.

• Fire up the Cinnamon Bread Twists. You can now order Dominos on Uber Eats instead of their separate app.

• A GIGANTIC fart derailed RFK Jr.’s press dinner. Yes, that’s a real headline.

• Hollywood actors join writers and strike against studios together for the first time since 1960, when Throat Goat Nancy Reagan’s husband was president of SAG-AFTRA. LET’S DIVE IN.

HOLLYWOOD ACTORS STRIKE

The hottest people you know just refused to work. Here’s what’s going down.

• Actors’ demands include higher wages, better healthcare / benefits, and an updated residual bonus structure to match new streaming models. They also don’t want to do self-tapes and have their likenesses replaced by AI.

• One particularly fucked proposal from studios: scanning background actors’ faces with AI and then using that likeness forever with no payment or consent. That would indeed be wack.

• SAG president Fran Drescher (hot lady from The Nanny) went OFF in her press conference. She has not lost her fastball.

• Actors cannot do any press appearances while striking (podcasts, interviews, award shows, etc.) leading to Oppenheimer cast walking out mid-premiere (all time power move). They also can’t be on social media, which I’m actually totally fine with.

If TV and movies go away and I’m forced to develop actual interests and hobbies… I’m gonna be so pissed.

NEW GENERATION JUST DROPPED

Let me just tell you this. Generation Alpha SUCKS.

MLB: America is crumbling. The Yankees have added the logo of Starr Insurance to their jersey and nothing is sacred anymore.

NBA: Savannah James’ husband says he is NOT retiring during ESPY’s speech. So brave.

Also did Moses Brown just create a new free throw shooting form?

Wimbledon: Dad stop, you’re embarrassing me! 20 year old world #1 Carlos Alcaraz admits his father was filming Djokovic’s training sessions ahead of today’s semis. Feels illegal.

NFL: The Jets are on Hard Knocks again. Please give us footage of Zach Wilson attending his mom’s book club at least once.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Breaking Benihana? Meth found in soy sauce at a Japanese steakhouse in Florida.

I have officially met my dream lady. Finally, a woman I can share my interests with.

Anchor Beer, the oldest brewery in the US, is closing their doors after 127 years, finally clearing the way for the beer of the summer… Chetty. Chillest beer name ever.

The seed is strong. Phillip Rivers is expecting his 10th child, double the amount of playoff wins in his career. This dude just flat out fucks.

SONG OF THE SUMMER PART III

DJ Press Play’s new Spirits remix will send you straight to the handicap stall.

SHIT TO CLICK BEFORE YOU GET FUCKED UP

5 Minute Oppenheimer Preview Looks Sick

Running of the Bulls Goes Horribly Wrong

This Guy’s Wife is Cheating on Him

I Want to Hobby Horse So Bad

The Man Who Broke Bowling Will Get You Through The Afternoon.