The Daily Friday: Friday 9/13

1. Shannon Sharpe accidentally goes on Instagram Live while porking the absolute bejeesus out of a woman. So crazy that the same thing happened to Fringe Guy as well. Must be an issue with the app.

2. Tua gets serious concussion during Monday Night Football on hit delivered by Damar Hamlin. The only person who had a worse night than him was Al Michaels. Might be time to Joe Biden him.

3. SpaceX engineer and tech billionaire complete first civilian spacewalk of all time. Probably not a great sign that the richest people in the world are trying to leave our planet, but oh well. Have fun up there, guys.

4. 30,000+ Boeing factory workers go on strike after rejecting new labor contract. I’m always pro-strike but if this makes flying an even shittier experience, I’m gonna be a little pissed. Fight the power though 🤝

5. OnlyFans creators made more money last year ($6.9 BILLION) than every NBA player combined. Imagine we get Mia Khalifa on an NBA roster? She’d make more money than God.

It’s Friday the 13th. Buy our card game at Target or get cursed with a thousand years of bad luck. I don’t make the rules.

NFL: Sure Josh Allen is a good NFL QB, but he really missed his true calling as a farmer. 

Think Cam Taylor-Britt is going to regret this quote. Personally, I would not give the fastest player in the NFL who has a HOF QB throwing to him any more motivation.

NCAAF: 4 Mountain West teams (Boise State, Colorado State, Fresno State, and San Diego State) will join Oregon State and Washington State in the Pac-12 next season. That is a LOT of States. Just an observation.

MLB: Brewers’ Jackson Chourio make history with 20 HRs and 20 SBs at age 20. When I was 20, I had $20 in my checking account and $20 in my savings. So I get it.

Minor league catcher released 2 months into his career after tipping pitches to opposing hitters because he wanted the team to lose so the season would be over. Honestly, respect. Work sucks.

LPGA: Charley Hull borrows a lighter from a fan to rip a dart mid-round. That lighter would be in a shrine in my home with an ancient spell cursing anyone who touched it for generations. But that’s just me.

THE DOC’S LOCKS

The good doctor, Dr. Locks, is here all season long to help you sweat through your bets. As always, we’ll be partnering with BetMGM, so make sure you sign up today using FBDAILY for up to $1500 in free bets.

Season Record: 4-1

West Virginia @ Pitt: West Virginia ML

It’s the Backyard Brawl, easily one of the most underrated rivalries in college football. Pitt’s undefeated but don’t be shocked if the Mountaineers come in there and take it, especially if CJ Donaldson has another big day. Book it.

#4 Alabama at Wisconsin: Under 50.5

Is Alabama actually any good? We still might not know after Saturday (Wisconsin is extremely mid) but one thing is for certain: the Badgers are not going to do much against Bama’s D. Bet on the Tide going up big and riding out the game on the ground.

#9 Oregon at Oregon State: Oregon -16

Would love to see Oregon State get some revenge after everyone bailed on the Pac-12 but Oregon just has too much firepower. Ducks by a buttload.

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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Happy birthday to my pretty much girlfriend Sydney Sweeney. For my present this year, I have decided to hack into Rotten Tomatoes mainframe and delete all negative reviews of Madame Web. I love you babe and please text me back.

38 pound cat named Crumbs tries and fails to escape from fat camp. Good for him: he should not be fat shamed and free to wander the world in a constant consumption vortex. Just make sure he doesn’t make it to Ohio or he’ll feed a family of 4.

A gang of rampaging otters is attacking joggers in Malaysia. Otterly terrifying.

Man suffers from food poisoning in his penis after eating rice and then having ‘vigorous sex’ with his wife. This is why I never have vigorous sex. Only feeble and timid.

EATING DOGS AND CATS

Lots of empathy and abundance on yesterday’s pod from the boys. Almost made me shed a tear.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Pro-Tip: throw the Tate McRae music video on the TV at your 5 dude pregame tonight. I could watch that cop scene 10 million times (I actually already have.)

• This video of DJ Khaled playing the guitar always gets a laugh out of me. And I hope to god that it always will.

• Read this on your lunch break: Living in a Lucid Dream (I want to learn how to do this so badly.)

• RIP to James Earl Jones, the man whose voice spanned vast universes.

• Waste hours on this website that answers your questions on ‘has anyone..’ Spoiler alert: no one has jerked off 15 times in a day. Yet.

• Open a window on that second monitor, cue up Eastbound and Down outtakes and coast into a beautiful fall weekend (I’m a sucker for Fixin’s content.)