The Daily Friday: Friday 9/22

Everything you need to know to sound smart today.

1. Traylor is over before it even started as Travis Kelce gets friend-zoned hard by Taylor Swift, whose quote on the breakup is savage.

2. Cowboys’ Treyvon Diggs tears ACL, out for remainder of the year. I need a refund on my Dallas future so I can put it on the 49ers ASAP.

3. Sophie Turner sues Joe Jonas for custody of children. Sophie: I am ready to be the father that stepped up. I know you’re reading this.

4. Ukraine attacks Russia’s Black Sea Fleet HQ. Way to put our $325 mil to work boys. Don’t spend it all at once though.

5. Real Life Succession: Rupert Murdoch steps down from Fox, hands company over to son. LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.

THE MANY WIVES OF RUPERT MURDOCH

Somewhere in Manhattan, Kendall Roy is punching the air.

92 year old media mogul Rupert Murdoch has stepped down from Fox, handing the keys to eldest son Lachlan. Sure, he’s worth $21 billion, owns hundred of publishing outlets and has shaped the news industry in remarkable ways (for better or for worse.)

But the most impressive part about his life? How he crushes middle aged ass.

LET’S BREAK IT DOWN

• Rupey’s been married 4 times and has 6 children, including his daughter Elizabeth, who is married to Sigmund Freud’s great grandson. That’s kinda cool!  

• He divorced his third wife Wendi Deng after she had an affair with ex-British Prime Minister Tony Blair, who also happens to be Rupert’s best friend and godfather to Deng and Murdoch’s eldest daughter. MESSY.

• In April, he called off an engagement with radio host Ann Lesley Smith, who was so infatuated with Tucker Carlson that she considered him “a messenger of God.” He fired Tucker 3 weeks later, which I get. Can’t let the fox into the henhouse.

•  Big Rupe is currently dating a molecular biologist and his previous wives include a model, a shop keeper from Melbourne and a former journalist who got $1.2 billion and 2 book deals in the divorce. Real dogs have no type. Respect.

Can you see how Logan Roy was modeled after him now?

MOST WELL KNOWN BRANDS BY STATE

I feel insane. I’ve never even remotely heard of 20% of these brands. All love for my printer heads in Kentucky, but there is ZERO chance that Lexmark is more famous that KFC. This chart is deeply flawed (shoutout Hooters and Denny’s though.)

NFL: Trent Williams needs to be thrown in prison and possibly given the electric chair for this move. It would mean a lot to some of us who bet Giants +10.5 and haven’t forgiven ourselves for it yet.

Bryce Young is not expected to play Sunday with ankle sprain. BUST.

FBI raids home of Bears DC Alan Williams to recover extremely sensitive information on computer. We can definitely rule out “well thought out defensive game plan” as the the information they were looking for. Burn.

MLB: This pitch was wizardry.

The Braves offense is insane. Olson hits 53rd HR, Albies gets 100th RBI and Acuna scores 140th run, most in majors since ‘07. Bonkers.

OTHER: Bucks fans should just get it over with and jump in a bath with a toaster now: Windhorst says there’s only a 50-50 chance Giannis comes back.

Any MLB team looking for an extra arm for the playoffs should sign Stephen A Smith. Dude has both power and precision. Rare.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Dwyane Wade says it was harder to tell his wife Gabrielle Union he was having a baby with another woman than it was to lose the NBA Finals. I mean yeah dude…I’d hope so.

If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything. Hero golfer goes viral for courageously and reasonably standing his ground in range ball dispute.

Is Travis Scott the most brilliant legal mind of our time? Kylie’s baby daddy loses phone in Gulf of Mexico so Astroworld lawyers can’t access his phone records. Checkmate.

I don’t get why Lil Kim is upset that Ebony Magazine used this digitally altered photo of her without permission. She looks beautiful and natural.

DR. LOCKS’ LOCKS

Very tasty slate of college football action this weekend with 6 matchups between top 25 teams. Our resident sharp Dr. Locks has the picks you need to make bank this weekend.

SEASON RECORD: 3-3

NOTRE DAME +3: The Fighting Irish are gonna put up a fight. I like Marvin Harrison and the Buckeyes offense but not sure I trust their D. We’re on upset watch.

PSU -14: Sorry Brian Ferentz - you may not get your 25 point this game. Expect Penn State to shut the Hawkeyes offense down and Drew Allar to have a day in Happy Valley.

BAYLOR +15: The Longhorns have been reading their press clippings. Don’t be shocked if Baylor comes into their house Saturday night and makes it interesting. I won’t be.

Live bet the action all weekend with BetMGM. Bet 10, get $200 with code BEERS200. Let’s ride.

WILL AND RUSTY’S PLAYDATE

@playdatepod

UberGrab™

This is just crazy enough to work. The new pod from the lads is absolutely electric. Binge their first 3 episodes to take you into the weekend right.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• 5 Fits We Want Senators to Rock with the new dress code.

• I kinda want to get arrested and sent to this Venezuela jail with a zoo, nightclub, swimming pool and full baseball field.

• How to Get on Survivor.

• This is my favorite rendition of the viral ‘Sitting’ song.

• Good article on Bryan Johnson’s quest for immortality. I feel like I heard about this dude every 2 weeks.

• Starbucks has over 300 BILLION drink combinations. Just get a black cold brew like a grown up.