The Daily Friday: Monday 2/5

It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to sound smart today.

1. The World Cup is coming to Jersey, as MetLife wins the bid for the 2026 FIFA final. Can’t wait for the world’s most corrupt organization to set up camp in the NJ swamplands. The crime potential is insane.

2. Shane Gillis will be hosting SNL on February 24th, just 5 years after he was fired. Please let him ride a Sybian in at least one sketch.

3. Lisa Ann arrested at a Matt Rife show for using a cell phone. They better free my teacher/doctor/stepmom ASAP or I’m gonna Jan. 6 that jail. That woman taught me more than you’ll ever know.

4. RIP to Carl Weathers, former NFL player and iconic actor from Happy Gilmore, Rocky, Arrested Development and more, who passed away on Friday at 76. Rest easy Chubbs 🙏🏻

5. We had a VERY eventful Grammy’s last night. LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.

WHAT WENT DOWN AT THE GRAMMY’S

The 66th annual Grammy’s were held last night and we had an album drop, a mic drop, an angel drop in from heaven to perform (looking at you Tracy Chapman) and much, much more more.

HERE’S WHAT WENT DOWN LAST NIGHT

• Taylor Swift used her Album of the Year acceptance speech to announce her new album Tortured Poet’s Department release date of April 19th. How dare she take attention away from Travis one week before his big game? Don’t see how their relationship survives this.

• KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME IN THE FUCKING CONVERSATION. Jay-Z went Will Smith mode and used his acceptance speech to criticize the Grammy’s for never giving Beyonce Album of the Year. Are all husbands now expected to defend their wives’ honor at award shows? Way to raise the bar, assholes.

• Tracy Chapman gave a rare live performance of ‘Fast Car’ with Luke Combs, whose cover hit #1 this year. While it doesn’t quite touch the 1988 Wembley one, it came close. God is a woman and that woman is Tracy Chapman.

• Killer Mike was taken away in handcuffs after winning 3 Grammy’s in the rap music category. If he gets locked up with Lisa Ann, it will all be worth it.

• The following people looked super hot last night: Christina Aguilera (BACK,) Dua Lipa (performed a new song that’s kind of a bop,) and Miley Cyrus (iPhones?) I love when hot people look hot. That’s a ‘Do your job’ mindset right there.

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS

When the winter comes around, it’s normal for the ol’ mental health to crash hard. It’s cold, it’s dark, and sometimes you just wanna curl up, look at pictures of your ex and her jacked new boyfriend on Instagram, and hate yourself until you go to sleep.

Happens to the best of us. For me, the only thing that makes me feel better (besides hitting all 7 legs of my NFL parlay) is talking it out. With a trained professional.

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NFL: A Heisman, Rookie of the Year, NVP and now Pro Bowl MVP? Baker Mayfield may be the most decorated athlete of our generation.

Patrick Mahomes Sr. was arrested over the weekend on suspicion of a DUI. Dude will do anything to avoid sharing that press box with Taylor.

NBA: Joel Embiid undergoes surgery on meniscus and Zach Lavine has season-ending surgery on his right foot. I fucking knew I should’ve become a surgeon to the stars. That’s where all the money is.

CBB: Get ready to see a LOT of this big fella come March. He’s the next Jokic.

NHL: Big props to Michael Buble, who did mushrooms at the NHL All-Star game and then spent the night telling everyone that he was on mushrooms. Extremely relatable.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Jacob Elordi allegedly assaulted a producer who asked him if he could “have his bathwater” at a party. Honestly, if I was ever at a famous people party, I would ask celebs shit like this all the time. This is why I don’t leave the house.

A pigeon suspected of being a Chinese spy was finally freed by Indian police after 8 months. I would’ve loved to be in that interrogation room. Starve him out for a few days and then toss him some delicious bread crumbs. He’ll start cooing.

Man in upstate NY was arrested for repeatedly spray-painting squirrels red due to a ‘personal vendetta’ with the rodents. Hate when the government gets involved in personal beefs like this. Seems like they sorted it out.

Darius Rucker arrested in Tennessee while trying to buy drugs, which feels wrong. He was in Hootie and the Blowfish, not Hootie and the CleanlivingFish. What’d you expect?

MONDAY MOVE

Shopping is tiring and also super boring. A quick sit and snack to gather your courage and energy is the perfect way to mix it up and come back stronger in the second half. Absolutely the move.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• You’ve (hopefully) never been in a plane crash. Here’s why.

• Kinda hooked on this new phone game Squeezy. Currently 4th in my rotation after NYT Mini Crossword, Connections, and Contexto.

• Devin Hester returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown in the Super Bowl 17 years ago and my life has never been the same since (I won my first ever bet at a family friend’s Super Bowl party and have been chasing that high ever since.)

• Fuck it, Phillip Seymour Hoffman basketball scene in Along Came Polly. Just because it’s Monday.

• Read this on your lunch break: Why Truman Capote still fascinates us is a good read for your lunch break today. .