The Daily Friday: Monday 4/17

A rather large mood today.

MONDAY MOTIVATION

Every time you get stressed at work today, remember that even Chester Cheeto gives less than 50% at his job every day. You’re gonna be fine.

Let’s have a week.

We are entering peak sports season and it’s time to lock in. Here’s what you need to know.

NBA: The Kings won their first playoff game in 17 years and this kid fucking ruined it. The Lakers have the best player in NBA history. McLovin’ single-handedly secured a Celtics W. Knicks in 3, confirmed.

NHL: Playoffs start today, and Empty Netters has you covered. Are the Bruins the greatest team ever? Probably not, but I’m absolutely hammering that future.

MLB: Fan fights are in mid season form. The Rays continue doing shit I’ve never seen in my life. Brett Baty is the future. Fernando Tatis Jr. is the greatest minor league baseball player since Tim Tebow.

Golf: Jordan Spieth missed a putt on 18 to win the RBC and lost to Matt Fitzpatrick in a playoff. Personally, I would have buried that shit and called it a day, but I guess I’m built different.

AM I A BAD FRIEND?

​​Ryan Reynolds, I don’t care how handsome you are…you just made the list pal.

On Friday, Blake Lively’s husband dropped a whole-ass song to celebrate the birthday of Rob McElhenny (Mac from Always Sunny) his buddy and co-owner of Wrexham AFC.

Obviously, it’s a massive bop because Ryan Reynolds is a beast at everything. Congrats, but that’s not my issue.

Are we supposed to be giving personalized original songs to people for their birthdays now? Whatever happened to a simple “Happy Birthday my guy” text and maybe buying a round at the bar? I guarantee the rest of Sunny crew is side-texting each other right now like “yo did you see Ryan wrote a fucking song for Rob’s 46^th birthday? I wasn’t even going to get him a gift.”

Mr. Reynolds, you have 48 hours to right this wrong for the good of modern male friendships. I await your response.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

• Sensitive Pentagon info was leaked by a 21 yr old on his Discord channel and honestly, I get it. What is the point of having classified information if you can’t use it for Internet clout? Free him.

• Congrats to the finesse god, Hot Masters Girl, for landing a modeling contract. Personally, I don’t get the hype, but I respect the hustle.

• The original Blink 182 members performed for the first time in 9 years at Coachella after a long hiatus involving discovering aliens, beating cancer, and an insane level of PDA with Kourtney Kardashian.

• Thieves in Philadelphia stole over 2 MILLION dimes from a bank. I don’t have a joke, only a massive level of respect for the lads. That’s just…so many dimes. Consider my cap tipped.

• The Bocce Boss of Argentina is an absolute unit and my new personal hero.

BRO, AREN’T YOU LIKE 40?

Drake’s new mech drop is just a smokescreen to distract us after an AI generated song with him and the Weeknd came out better than anything he’s made in 5 years. Not fooling me, dude.

MONDAY MOVE

Desperately need this on my commute today.

In a standard playing deck, the King of Hearts is the only King with no mustache. That’s how you zig when everyone else zags.

Let’s have a Monday. Commence Week.