The Daily Friday: Monday 6/26

Boobs are scary. I get it man.

• MONDAY MOTIVATION

• Napping Makes You Smart

• How to Be Happy

• The Big Game: Happy Gilmore, Joe Milton Rocket Arm, Judge out, etc.

• Monday Move

• What Else is Good: Jacked RFK, Mr. Beast, Drake Album, etc.

• Insane Tiger Stat

BAR TAB REMINDER

Are you shaking at your desk right now, terrified to check your Chase app after a weekend of Commencing Suckdown? You came to the right place. We are paying one lucky subscriber’s bar tab from the weekend. Each referral gets you an extra chance to win, so blast that shit out to everyone in your entire life.

Sound like a plan? Good. Let’s get into the news.

MONDAY MOTIVATION

If you believe in yourself, anything is possible. Just look at Monday’s hero, Yevgeny Prigozhin, who added “staging a Russian mutiny for less than 24 hours” to the list of incredible accomplishments in his wild life.

Here’s a quick timeline of his journey:

1981: Caught stealing (and forcing teens to steal for him), served 9 years in jail

1990: Sold hot dogs in a flea market

1995: Entered restaurant business

2001: Putin’s personal chef/caterer

2012: Supplied meals to Russian military for $1.2B a year

2014: Started Wagner Group, a private military org

2022: Admits role in US election interference and participated in Ukraine invasion

2023: Had mutiny against Russia for less than 24 hours

Your life has just begun. You still have so much time to start a flea market hot dog stand and/or commit war crimes. Never, ever, ever give up.

SHOW THIS TO YOUR BOSS

Fighting a yawn today at the office after abusing your body this weekend? Forward this study that shows people who take regular afternoon naps are more productive at work to your boss and go pass out in a conference room for the rest of the morning.

If your boss is a massive dickhead and won’t let you have one of those sick ass nap pods, here are some quick places to get a sneaky nap in at work.

• Your Desk (wear sunglasses or pretend you became blind over the weekend)

• Another Company on a Different Floor (they can’t fire you if you don’t work there)

• On Your Boss’s Desk (power move)

• Handicap Stall (bring your own hammock/yoga mat if possible)

• Your Car (also a good place to sneak in a quick JO if you’re horny)

• That One Conference Room No One Uses (you know… that one)

Quick sidebar. In 2021, I worked for a startup out of a WeWork with several other companies. One time, I walked into a communal meeting room where two people were straight up dry humping on a couch. Unfortunately they weren’t my coworkers (no drama) and they weren’t that hot (no disrespect) but it still got me going. Respect the move.

BEAT THE MONDAY BLUES

Chart is suspiciously missing “several dozen beers with the fellas” but other than that, it all checks out. I fucking love acts of kindness. Let’s rock those today.

MLB: Kyle Freeland’s reaction to Shohei’s HR off him is exactly how I react to everything Otani does. I could watch Elly De La Cruz leg out a triple all day long. Judge reportedly tears toe ligament, could be out for months. The Angels mercy-ruled the Rockies. 

NBA: Wemby makes Tim Duncan look tiny. Love is real: Moriah Mills gets Zion face tat. I love this move by KD - if you don’t hype yourself up, who will? The Sixers desired trade package for Tobias Harris is laugh out loud funny.

GOLF: Happy Gilmore commits to Ball State. Ricky Fowler nearly broke 60 at the Travelers Championship. Steph and Klay face off against Mahomes and Kelce in The Match this Thursday…my money’s on Steph.

OTHER: Tennessee QB Joe Milton has a fucking rocket arm. Wild NHL trade between Preds and Avs. I am all about this post knockout celebration by UFC’s David Onama…4 arrows into the heart of an unconscious man is legit as hell.

MONDAY MOVE

Strong Monday Move. Check out Bobby’s full breakdown.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

• An incredibly jacked and shirtless RFK Jr. lifts 115 pounds 8 times and does 9 pushups in jeans. He’s nearly as strong as a JV football player. Very incredible and inspiring.

• Does Mr. Beast understand how text messages work? Blue means that you texted them, buddy boy.

• Drake will be releasing a new album along with his book of poetry and the worst person you know just got tons of new Instagram caption material.

• Download your porn while you still can: NASA warns of solar event that could destroy Wi-Fi worldwide and create an ‘Internet apocalypse.’
  

That’s a lot of weeks. Charlie Woods is going to be 18 in 4 years, so realistically, Scottie has zero shot of breaking Tiger’s record. Nice try, but that record is staying in the family.

Best reviews getting featured moving forward 🤝🤝🤝