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The Daily Friday: Monday 7/31

The Daily Friday: Monday 7/31

X. Big Heavies. Coin Boys.

Jack
July 31, 2023

It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to sound smart today.

Dudes will do anything to get laid: Japanese man spends $14k to transform himself into a scary realistic border collie. Got that human in him.
Trouble in Indy as RB Jonathan Taylor might not get paid this year for a back injury sustained while working out and Jim Irsay deals with existential dread. Very relatable Monday mood tbh.
46,000 year old Siberian worm brought back to life by scientists, still a little too young to run for Senate.
Mets deal Max Scherzer to Texas Rangers in exchange for shortstop prospect Acuña and any hope of salvaging the season.
Twitter’s rebrand into X is in full swing and there’s already a ton of shit happening. MORE INFO BELOW.

But first…a reminder to our new email subs: BAR TAB WINNER ANNOUNCED TUESDAY MORNING. Refer your friends with the link at the bottom of the email for more chances to win.

Let’s hit it.

CHECKING IN ON PROJECT X

It’s been just over a week since Elon changed Twitter to X. Let’s check in on how everything is going.

On Friday, a flashing X sign was installed without a permit on top of HQ. If I lived across from the street like this guy, I would have to kill myself.
Elon has allowed several high-profile people back on the platform, including Kanye West, who has promised not to be tweet anything anti-Semitic. Well, as long as he promises.
After controversy with the App Store that requires apps to be named at least 2 characters, the app officially switched over to X with the tagline “Blaze your Glory!” This dude is such a little nerd.
Elon might be a little busy dealing with controversy surrounding his over-reach in the Ukraine war and cover-ups for Tesla self-driving car crashes.

How the fuck does this man relax at night? I would be so stressed all the time.

WE JUST INVENTED MORE EXPENSIVE CABLE

Honestly, I don’t really care. I need a steady stream of content entering my brain at every moment of the day so I don’t have to have any actual thoughts. You can’t put a price on that.

Chart Source: Chartr.

UFC: Biggest fight weekend of the year features a controversial W by Periera, KO by Justin Gaethe, and an absurd Derrick Lewis flying knee.

Has anyone checked on his wife? Worried for her guts.

NFL: THIS LEAGUE. Aaron Rodgers goes full Will Smith mode on Sean Payton, telling him to “keep my coach’s name out of his mouth” after he shit on Nathaniel Hackett’s coaching in Denver.

Dalvin Cook remains unsigned…is any running back going to play this year?

MLB: Tons of movement as tomorrow’s trade deadline approaches. Angels continue to bolster lineup for the playoffs, picking up 1B Cron and OF Randal Grichuk from Colorado.

When your once in a generation player keeps doing shit like this, it’s time to go all in.

It's completely ridiculous to suggest that Shohei Ohtani has a chance to win the AL Triple Crown this year but maybe he does.
Home runs:  39 leads the AL
Runs batted in:  81 is 3 off the AL lead
Batting average:  .302 is 16 points off the AL lead
— Codify (@CodifyBaseball)
3:51 PM • Jul 30, 2023

TBT: The Friday Beers TBT run continues tonight in the Elite 8 at 7 pm EST. Tune in on ESPN+ or regret it for the rest of your life. Choice is yours.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

NPC Tik-Tok star Pinky Doll is releasing a new single, “Ice Cream So Good.” I’m glad she’s putting the $932 I sent her last month to good use.

Cardi B throws mic at fan who chucked a drink at her on stage. I wonder what it would take for her to stomp on a fan while wearing high heels. Asking for a friend.

I don’t care that Trader Joe’s had to recall 4 products last week for containing rocks. Their cashiers are nicer to me than 90% of my family and friends.

I genuinely consider this dude one of my closest friends in the world

We just witnessed history: a fan threw a 42H bra on stage at Drake’s concert, a tour record (so far.) Need her in my life….heavies like you dream about.