The Daily Friday: Tuesday 5/30

Sitting at my desk today trying to pick up the pieces after spending my life savings at beach bars and getting a medical grade sunburn this weekend.

• Bar Tab Giveaway

• Josh Allen and Hallie Steinfeld

• Adult Baby

• Fast Food Rankings

• The Big Game

• What Else is Good

• Monday Move

• Ed Sheeran Facts

A QUICK REMINDER

In case you started MDW a bit early on Friday, we are paying the bar tab of one lucky subscriber every Tuesday morning this summer, up to $250.

Today’s LEGENDARY first winner is Landon Field, who’s getting $65.03 back from a booze run before a slow pitch tourney. Truly the perfect event to get a little banged up at.

Commence Suckdown. And smash this link for more info to refer your homies for more chances to win this week. Now let’s get to the news story that is rocking the world.

THE STEINFELD EAGLE MAY HAVE LANDED

I can barely type this as I am gasping for air. But the rumors are true. Friday Beers singer/songwriter/actress/model Queen Hailee Steinfeld may be pounding Friday Beers athletic QB King Josh Allen. They got spotted once, and they got spotted again in New York (all respect to Daily Mail). And yes Hailee is the one who does the pounding.

It’s hard to process two people on earth coming together that could have a greater impact on Friday Beers than these two specimens. This redefines Hollywood power couple. Because it’s not just beauty with them. They both have talent. They both have IT.

They will conquer every TGI Friday’s in the greater Buffalo area and then the world together. We will laugh, cry, and celebrate them every step of the way. Godspeed.

ADULT BABY?

This feels like the plot to a horror movie. An Indianapolis family claims that a 6 year old girl they adopted from Ukraine is actually a sociopathic adult little person pretending to be a child.

The girl/adult woman, named Natalia, could not have been more convincing in her disguise.

In order to convince her parents she was 6, Natalia would urinate and shit on the car door (classic kid stuff,) hoard knives and tell her father she would kill him in his sleep. She also arranged an appearance on Dr. Phil once the family caught on. Kid stuff 101.

When was the last time you gave that level of effort and commitment to anything in your life? Exactly. You should be ashamed, not her.

JERSEY MIKE’S IS WAY TOO SLEPT ON

The good people at Jersey Mike’s know what they’re doing when it comes to quality sandwiches at an affordable price. Should have more locations. Also maybe I’m a moron, but what in God’s name is Hunt Brothers Pizza? Even the logo looks fake. Could be a trap, gathering more info as we speak. Stay tuned.

NBA: Heat win in 7 and Caleb Martin is the greatest player in NBA history. NBA ref Eric Lewis might have a burner, and it could be badddd. Nick Nurse named Sixers new head coach.

NHL: Knights spank the shit out of the Stars, head to the finals vs. Florida. US falls in world semis on both the men’s and women’s sides, Herb Russell rolls over in his grave. 

MLB: The A’s released renderings for their new stadium in Vegas and it looks sick. This Vogey called strike compilation is heartbreaking.

OTHER: Verstappen in Monaco is insane. Notre Dame beats Duke for the men’s lax national championship. Gotta feel for this NY high school team that lost the state final

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

• Season 3 of I Think You Should Leave drops today on Netflix and it’s going to take over my personality for the next 12-18 months. ​​

• A 102 year old woman says the secret to living long is good sex. Guess I’m dying extremely young.

• As if the green texts weren’t enough, we have another reason to hate Android users: DoorDash has been charging them less than iOS users for years.

• If I was chill I’d hit this pool weed tube. But I’m not even close to that level.

• Mad respect to this Korean dude for opening an emergency exit 700 feet in the air on a flight. I only wish Mark Wahlberg was there to stop it.

MONDAY MOVE

Gotta get that poison out of the system from the long weekend. Great move.

It’s wedding season. You’re about to hear this bad boy a lot. For good reason. It’s a beautiful song. And love is beautiful.

Good vibes. Short week. You got this.