The Daily Friday: Wednesday 10/11

Everything you need to know to sound smart today.

1. Israeli-Palestinian war continues into 5th day, as death toll climbs to 2,200 and porn star Mia Khalifa gets fired from Playboy.

2. SBF’s ex gf snitches in FTX trial, says he instructed her to use customer funds and also thought he had a 5% chance of being President someday. To be fair, every dude has had this thought. Can’t blame him.

3. Knights raise championship banner in the most Vegas way possible on opening night. Commence NHL.

4. Congress votes on a Speaker today, with rumors that McCarthy will try to run again. Let it go, man. Sequels always flop (besides Shrek 2.)

5. George Santos is in hot water again. LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.

SANTOS IS SUS

America’s Top Liar is back. George Santos, the patron saint of lying on your resume, is facing new charges for conspiracy, wire fraud, identity theft and credit card fraud.

The man is so brazen that you almost have to respect it. Let’s break down the latest controvery.

• New charge claims he used personal credit cards from previous donors to rack up charges, including up to $15k on one card, without any sort of permission. Yeah, that’s a crime.

• Santos also inflated his campaign fundraising to hit a $250k threshold to qualify for Republican party backing and is being investigated for reporting that he loaned his campaign $500k, when he had less than $8,000 in his bank accounts. Ok, I didn’t realize he was fucking loaded. That’s $7,408 more than I have right now.

• These charges are separate from an earlier trial, when Santos pled not guilty to using campaign donations for person items like luxury designer items and car payments. Don’t’ see the issue here - look good, drive good, campaign good. This is above board to me.

Let’s take a brief moment to look back on his his incredible “resume embellishments” on his campaign, when he claimed that he:

• Worked for Goldman (never even applied,)

• Was a volleyball star at Baruch (they don’t have team,)

• Produced a Broadway Spider-Man play (weird lie because the musical notoriously flopped,)

• Was Jewish (claims he meant Jew-ish, which is hilarious)

• Starred on Hannah Montana and Suite Life of Zack and Cody (he didn’t. I would know.)

He’s takes manifesting your dreams to a new level and I have to tip the cap.

BEST ROAD TRIP DESTINATIONS IN THE US

Nothing beats a good old fashioned road trip as a way to see the country. Just you, the open road, a buddy or two, and a shitload of gas station snacks.

Personally, I love to stop at a 7-11 and grab a Yellow Vitamin Water, Wintergreen Copenhagen, purple Doritos, teriyaki beef jerky and Starbucks double-shot espresso tall boy and just fart up that car for the next 4-7 hours. That’s what it’s all about.

MLB: Still not over this ending to the Braves-Phils game Monday night that tied the series at 1-1. Game 3 tonight should be electric.

Can youuuuu take meeee higher???? The Rangers started listening to Creed and swept the Orioles to head to the ALCS. Fucking love Creed.

Astros smoke the Twins 9-1, take 2-1 series lead. Blame the Minnesota pitching staff, not their fans.

NHL: What a start to the year for the Vegas Knights, who score on their first shot of the season. Electric like you read about.

The Prince Who Was Promised: hyped prospect Connor Bedard gets assist in first game as torch is passed from Sydney Crosby.

NFL: Big day for Jefferson WRs in the news: Justin heads to IR for Vikings while Van is traded from Rams to Falcons.

RB Injury Updates: Ekeler says 99% chance he plays MNF, Dolphins’ Achane out multiple games with knee injury, Cards’ Conner placed on IR.

NBA: Wemby and Chet are just giraffes with hand eye coordination. Not human.

What a shocker: Dillon Brooks ejected from first Rockets game after hitting someone in the cock. Dude needs to go.

OTHER: The Lebron of Japanese high school baseball has hit 140 homers in his career and will play college baseball in the US instead of pro ball in Japan. Not sure if it’s possible, but College World Series might be more electric than normal next year.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

California bill outlaws the additives in Skittles that make it delicious. Luckily, Skittles-flavored vapes are still available for cool teens everywhere.

Retired couple has spent 18 straight months on 51 back to back cruises because it’s cheaper than a nursing home. You KNOW they still pork like crazy.

Minnesotan sets record by growing 2,479 pound pumpkin, enough to make 2,479 pumpkin spice lattes. Dude is the new king of White Girl Fall.

PornHub’s gonna have to make a new category for this one: twin sisters married twin brothers, had children who are legal cousins, genetic brothers.

THIS ONE SLAPPED

I kinda want to live in this world. If keeping your BAC above 0.2 is the best way to stay alive, I’d live forever. And then everyone’s gonna have a real problem.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Long, but this tweet is probably the most balanced take I’ve read on Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Worth a read.

• RIP to Chuck Feeney, founder of Duty Free Goods, who gave away his entire $8 billion fortune and rented a 2 bedroom apartment in his remaining years.

• This guy’s brain doesn’t picture things. Kinda wild.

• Man who jumped into the One World Trade memorial pool is ok. I have no idea how.