The Daily Friday: Wednesday 11/22

Everything you need to know to sound smart today.

1. Sam Altman returns to OpenAI days after being fired, as board will be replaced after employee revolt. Dude thinks he’s Lebron.

2. Thanksgiving travel will be chaotic, with record number of people expected on flights and on the road. I personally guarantee at least 3 viral plane freak-out videos. Praying for at least one hot lady. 

3. Israel-Hamas reach hostage deal, expected to pause fighting Thursday as 50 women and children and Palestinian prisoners will be returned home. Should be fun to talk about at dinner tomorrow 👍🏻

4. CEO of crypto exchange Binance steps down and pleads guilty to money laundering. I can’t wait to see how hot he looks in his courtroom sketch.

5. Elon sues Media Matters for libel. I didn’t know you could get in trouble for making up stuff about the man with penises for fingers. That sucks.

Before we get into the rest of the news, a few brief updates.

• We launched a beer called Friday Beers. It’s fucking delicious and available pretty much everywhere in Boston. Find yours here.

• There’s a huge party in Boston at Loco tonight to launch the beer and White Mamba (Brian Scalabrine) will be there. Get your ass there.

• No email being sent Friday. Try not to cry yourself to sleep.

• We’re slinging merch for 20% off today. Get yours now.

Back to the news.

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND

Hot Take: I love family. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to spend time with them for the holidays. Grow up.

HOWEVER - there comes a time during the holidays when everyone needs a little break. Here’s what you can pop on the tub when it gets to be too much.

SPORTS: Gonna get a lot of “hey honey, why are so mad that the Lions scored a garbage time touchdown to extend their lead to 11?” this weekend. Cuz the rent is due Mom. Wake up.

NFL: Pretty decent slate of games Thursday starting at 12:30 EST, as the world’s most handsome QB (Jared Goff) gets ready to hang 45 on Green Bay. Dr. Locks is on a heater lately if you like making money.

Then the Tim Boyle era begins Friday, as the Jets and Dolphins square off at 3 pm at Metlife stadium in the first Black Friday game ever (I’ll be there if anyone wants to get shit-hammered together.)

CFB: Ohio State-Michigan Saturday. Nuff said.

Hoops: College basketball is in full swing with games on all weekend (Maui Invitational has been lit) and NBA is heating up, as players seem like they’re actually trying this season (thank you to the in-season tournament.)

Puck: NHL action all weekend long. Empty Netters has you covered.

TV: Nathan Fielder’s The Curse is out. People are pretty split on it, but take the weekend to catch up and make your own decisions. Like an adult.

Prime is bringing the heat with Invincible and Gen V. There’s new episodes of The Crown to watch with your mom. Netflix’s anime version of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World looks interesting but I miss Michael Cera :/

MOVIES: Loking to get out of the house? There’s a ton of good shit in theaters.

Bradley Cooper debuts his massive prosthetic nose in Maestro and Ridley Scott tells critics to suck his hefty dick in Napoleon. Nic Cage’s new movie Dream Scenario is solid and the new Hunger Games movie is the perfect thing to go see with your teenage cousins.

If you want to stay home, the second best Tik-Tok sketch comedy group Please Don’t Destroy have leveraged their SNL success into a movie on Paramount+. It’s got Conan O’Brien, John Goodman’s voice and some funny moments. Worth a watch.

YOUTUBE: The best Tik-Tok sketch comedy group (Almost Friday TV) is also making the best YouTube sketches since the platform was invented. Catch up on them now.

WHO HATES STUFFING????

Who the fuck hates stuffing?

Do you also hate the soft touch of a woman? A cool summer’s breeze? The satisfying pop of a perfectly executed dap? One wipe poops? Taking ski boots off? Being awake for a booty call? The first night of vacation? Finding out something’s on sale at checkout? Having that first sip of Friday Beers with your absolute boys who you positively cherish but haven’t seen in a few months? Hot Tubs?????

Green Bean Casserole is admittedly gross, as is Cranberry Sauce and Pumpkin Pie. Actually, Thanksgiving food kind of stinks on ice outside of Hawaiian dinner rolls, turkey and gravy. No further questions at this time.

MERCH MERCH MERCH MERCH MERCH

HOLY SHIT WE’RE PRACTICALLY GIVING THIS STUFF AWAY.

This sale will likely bankrupt the entire enterprise, so get as much as you can before we have to close our doors. Nice knowing you all.

NCCAB: #4 Marquette beats #1 Kansas and Shaka Smart was ready kick Bill Self’s ass afterward. What is going on in college coach handshake lines?

NBA: Hawks and Pacers score 309 points in insane in-season tournament game and it’s time to throw some respect on Haliburton’s name.

Lebron is older than the Utah Jazz head coach. He’s gonna play with Bryce.

NFL: Wholesome: Colts cut 3x All-Pro Shaq Leonard but he still showed up to give away turkeys to people in Indianapolis. Why am I crying in the club rn?

Steeler’s OC Matt Canada fired Tuesday. When even the kicker is chirping you after wins, you know you’ve lost the locker room.

ICHIRO: Ichiro has inspired me to go balls out in the family Thanksgiving football game. 800+ all purpose yards against my 9 year old cousins incoming.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

I can’t stop watching Stephen A. clips. He just went off on a man who tried to claim Lightning McQueen was the GOAT. Team Strip Weathers 🤝

Elderly man tries to burn down White House on 81st birthday.

Sydney Sweeney posted these pics and then basically invited me to Australia. She’s either ghosting me or her phone just doesn’t work internationally. Time will tell.

Mr. Beast gets buried but comes back after a few days. What a complete rip-off of a little carpenter’s son from Nazareth who changed the world.

THIS ONE SLAPPED

The skip at the end of this is just chef’s kiss. Masterful performances all around.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Free will is a myth. Tell that to your ex-gf tonight at the Thanksgiving Eve meetup when she asks why you broke up with her in college.

• The North Carolina field hockey coach is a 23 year old who played for the team last year. They just won the national championship. Pretty fucking cool.

• Amazon is coming for everything this Black Friday.

• Dogs are coming down with a mysterious respiratory illness that is hospitalizing and kill them. Take your pup to the vet.

• Man, I miss new hire orientation. This takes me back.

• Tim Robinson is one of GQ’s Men of the Year. Hell ya.