The Daily Friday: Wednesday 3/27

1. NBA investigates Jontay Porter for betting irregularities, including a parlay on his own props hitting for $1.2 million. To be fair, he was only making $421k. How is anyone supposed to live off that?

2. Trump’s social network Truth Social IPOs, as company surges to $7.8 billion valuation. The real money will come from Donald’s other new venture, selling $60 Bibles with Lee Greenwood. Hustler.

3. Florida signs bill banning social media for children under 14. Thank god Mr. Beast got an Amazon show before he lost all his fans. If this means the end of Club Penguin, I will be distraught.

4. Baltimore bridge collapses after ship crashes into structure; rescue mission ongoing for 6 missing people. Shoutout Baltimore’s child mayor: way more effective than Tommy Carcetti.

5. Diddy Epstein? The rapper is in a whole lot of shit so LET’S BREAK IT DOWN

DIDDY DO IT?

Sean ‘Puff Daddy' / P Diddy / Diddy’ Combs may have a new nickname: Diddy Epstein.

Since November, the rapper has been hit with multiple lawsuits, including allegations of sexual assault/harassment and spearheading a sex trafficking ring with his chief of staff and his son Justin. Fuck this dude (allegedly.)

On Monday, shit really started to hit the fan, leading to Diddy selling off his stake in Revolt TV, having his home raided by Homeland Security and likely fleeing the country.

LET’S BREAK IT DOWN

• Diddy’s LA home was raided Monday by Homeland Security in connection to federal sex trafficking allegations. Thoughts and prayers to neighbor Ridley Scott, who couldn’t get into his house because of all the cops. Man needs to finish Gladiator 2!

• Diddy was not home, but his two sons Justin and Christian were handcuffed and taken into custody. That’s what they get for just chilling at their dad’s house at 1 pm on a Monday in their 30s. Get a job.

• No one knows where Diddy is at the moment, though he was seen pacing at the Miami airport and his private jet is currently in Antigua. Might as well get a nice Caribbean vacation in before you head to jail.

• His alleged drug mule Brendan Paul was arrested Monday at the Miami airport. Paul also happens to be a former Syracuse hoops player. Fuck it, Diddy drug mule highlights.

• One lawsuit calls Diddy the ‘Epstein of music’ and alleges that he built a network of sex trafficking within the industry, with celebrities like Prince Harry and Cuba Gooding Jr. named in documents. Add Snow Dogs to the list of movies that have been ruined for me.

Expect a lot more to come out about Diddy, as a pattern of strange behavior with young artists (including Justin Bieber) is starting to emerge, along with multiple upcoming charges expected to be filed against the rapper. Buckle up.

ELEVATE YOUR GAME

March Madness is here and we’re pumped! But, let's be honest, your bracket won't survive the buzzer beaters and the never would've guessed upsets. So don't let the madness on the court overshadow the importance of maintaining balance off the court. 

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MLB: We are 24 hours away from Opening Day and I have full body chills just thinking about it. It’ll be nice to talk about something that’s not Shohei. Like how the Yankees are cursed.

NCAAW: Caitlin Clark drops 32 points and one beautiful ‘shut the fuck up’ while helping Iowa hold off WVU in her final home game. Nothing quite like an mean, athletic brunette telling you to shut up. Dream woman.

NFL: Caleb Williams spotted rocking a pink iPhone. Hell yea brother. We love a bad bitch behind center.

Owners pass new kickoff rules, which hopefully will create some more action. I’m over the ball getting kicked out the end zone 90% of the time.

OLYMPICS: The USA’s 3v3 national team will feature Jimmer Fredette and Rick Barry’s son (who also shoots free throws underhand.) Electric city.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

McDonald’s to sell Krispy Kreme nationwide by 2026. I just know Grimace will get into some nasty shit with those donuts. Good for you bud.

Rizz level one million: this guy showed his ex he’s totally over her by opening a Korean BBQ and making a sign about how ok he’s doing.

World’s most expensive cow sells for $4.8 million, is clearly just two guys in a cow costume. If you milk that thing, you’re gonna get man milk (cum.)

Flaco the Owl was just as horny as expected, with necropsy revealing his pigeon herpes. Cross-species love is real and it’s time to start accepting that.

60 for $60, DUNKIN’ EDITION

This is just classic LC right here. Honestly pretty let down that these two didn’t smooch. I know I speak for all the subscribers when I say we’d pay top dollar for that. Just something to keep in mind for future episodes.

Catch up on the rest of the 60 for 60 interview series by William D here.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• New Yorker published a “hit piece” of podcaster Andrew Huberman that highlighted how he juggled 6 affairs at once. Productivity king.

• Want your mind blown? The Denver Airport is larger than San Franciso. Like the entire city. I knew the conspiracies were true.

• Is it even possible to be more productive? And should we even try?

• Tom Wilson aka Biff Taffen from Back to the Future’s song about the questions fans ask him is hilarious. Shoutout Sandler.

• Read this on your lunch break: Dispatches from the Adderal epidemic.