The Daily Friday: Wednesday 4/12

Almost there. Time to let it all hang out like this young man.

WEDNESDAY HERO

Just a classic example of turning a negative into a positive. Time to reschedule that rematch with the hare and cash in big time.

LONG LIVE FYRE FEST

In the greatest comeback since cargo shorts, Billy McFarland has announced the long awaited Fyre Fest 2.

Mr. McFarland has plenty of haters. But I am not one of them. Billy was the ultimate hype man - who gives a shit if he couldn’t pull it off? He delivered us 2 documentaries, revived Ja Rule’s career, and spawned one of the most iconic meme formats of all time. That is a leader you can trust.

Also, he’s from my rival high school and got my sister a fake ID in 2009 that she used to buy me booze for Sweet 16s, so the guy is really legit. True story.

Here's what he has been up to since he got out of jail with The Situation.

1. Launched a consulting service with an hourly rate that’s more than my rent.

2. Created an AI based dating app that I genuinely can’t decide if it’s satire or not.

3. Started filming ANOTHER documentary.

4. Announced Fyre Fest 2.

It’s time to party our nutsacks off when Fyre Fest 2 launches. Thank you for everything Billy.

BLESS THE BREWERS

Baseball’s new pitch clock has shortened games (by 24 mins!!) and collected Ws so far this season. More runs. More stolen bases. Yet it’s presented the pressing issue of less time to suck down a cold one with the fellas at the stadium.

So let’s salute the brave trailblazers in the Milwaukee Brewers front office, who have extended alcohol sales into the end of the eighth inning due to quicker games. Heroes. Will be interesting to see how this affects the 999 challenge.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

• Millie’s Room? Someone check on Drake….Eleven just got engaged to Son Bon Jovi.

• NBA play-in started last night and Anthony Edwards should stick to movies. Tonight, Pat Bev and the Bulls hope to celebrate against Toronto while Zion calls in sick as the Pelicans take on Shai Dad and OKC.

• I’m at a total loss for words with the Dalai Lama. What is wrong with that guy?

• How did we get here? People won’t shut up about Bud Light’s marketing campaign and I just miss the good old days. 

• As I’ve told every woman I’ve ever been with, the human body was simply not meant to execute the reverse cowgirl position.

HUMP DAY HIPPO

Absolute steeze on this guy. Would you ghost-ride the whippopotamus?

THIS ONE SLAPPED

The boys have stepped their game all the way up. Oscar season can’t come soon enough. Bravo.

Fun fact: There are more saunas than cars in Finland and more cars than people in LA. Make it make sense.