The Daily Friday: Wednesday 8/23

Everything you need to know to sound smart today.

1. Scooter Braun has been dropped by the top stars in the industry including Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato, Chip Skylark and more.

2. Elon Musk reportedly has colleagues concerned about his ‘increased ketamine use.’ One of the first cool things he’s done in a while.

3. Republican debate is tonight. Trump won’t be participating but this shirtless stud will be (not a link to Chris Christie don’t worry.)

4. Rihanna and ASAP Rocky announce birth of second child, whose name starts with an R. RachelMaddowMSNBC is a beautiful name <3

5. Legendary scamlord Billy McFarland announces that the first wave tickets to Fyre Fest II have already sold out. HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

FYRE FEST II IS HERE

In the greatest comeback since cargo shorts, Billy McFarland has already sold out the first batch of Fyre Fest 2 tickets (more will be available don’t worry) and I am ready to get hurt again.

Mr. McFarland has plenty of haters. But I am not one of them. Dude was the ultimate hype man - who gives a shit if he couldn’t pull it off?

Here's what he has been up to since he got out of jail with The Situation.

• Launched a consulting service with an hourly rate that’s more than my rent. I had to move back home with my parents after I booked a 3hr session but it was 100% worth it.

• Created an AI based dating app that I genuinely can’t decide if it’s satire or not. That’s the beauty of it.

• Started producing a Fyre Fest 1.5 Broadway Musical. I hate musicals but will make an exception for my king.

• Announced Fyre Fest 2, which will be held in the Caribbean sometime at the end of 2024 with musical guests TBD. Specifics are for losers. Let’s party our nut sacks off.

Also, he’s from my rival high school and got my sister a fake ID in 2009 that she used to buy me booze for Sweet 16s, so the guy is really legit. True story.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOOGLING

Jokic’s impact in Denver is insane. Half the state had never even heard of a triple double before he showed up. Gotta tip the hat to CT searching ‘merriment.’ They’re planning a delightful weekend with the boys and I want in.

Mississippi…why are you Googling the word “it”? That’s like one of the top 5 most essential words to know in the English language. How are you guys functioning in society?

BASEBALL: I’m all in on this Little League kid’s batting stance. Elite move.

The Yankees lost their 9th straight game. Fire Cashman and cancel the franchise.

Crazy stat: Kyle Schwarber has hit 33 HRs this year and 36 singles. Reminds me of that Matt Christopher book.

Luis Castillo shuts down the White Sox on 47 straight fastballs. Starting to see why they fired their GM and team president yesterday.

NFL: Congrats to Little Mayo Freak Will Leavis, who signed a lifetime mayonnaise deal with Hellmans. Now he can pour it in his coffee, fuck the jar or whatever weird shit he pleases for eternity.

Josh Harris needs to go back to handshake school. Proof that money does not buy chill.

Chaos out of Colts camp, as management is demanding a 1st round pick for Jonathan Taylor (good luck with that) and Eagles players are punching Anthony Richardson during joint practice.

Baker Mayfield wins the QB battle in Tampa and Trevon Diggs loses his battle against being horny on main. Can’t win ‘em all.

BOXING: I can’t believe this Logan Paul fight isn’t until October. Do I really have to pay attention to this for another 2 months?

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Maybe this will get those teens to stop bullying me during Warzone. XBOX introduces new ‘8 Strike Rule’ to combat toxic play from mean jerks who are just jealous I can drive and they can’t.

Dick’s CEO blames shoplifting as they lays off 250 employees and miss revenue by $74 million. That is so many stolen lacrosse sticks.

Longtime voice of Mario in the video games Charles Martinet retires after 27 years, will still use voice during special sexy time with his wife.

Italian millionaire accuses fiancee of cuckolding him during speech at ultra expensive engagement party. God, I would’ve loved to be at the party.

THIS ONE SLAPPED

This is a shot for shot remake of how my senior year summer went. It’s crazy how the boys can capture such a unique and personal moment like that and turn it into something universal. True art.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• “Elon desperately wants the world to be saved, but only if he can be the one to save it.”

• It’s been 100 years since cars took over and we completely revamped streets.

• You might be bad at your job, but you’re not as bad as this bank who thought invisible ink made you invisible.

• ‘Rich Men North of Richmond’ skyrockets to #1 on Billboard 100 and singer Oliver Anthony drops new song called “Brink of War.”

• I would love to get Gooped at Gwenyth Paltrow’s AirBnB.