The Daily Friday: Wednesday 8/9

Everything you need to know to sound smart today.

1. PENN strikes deal with ESPN, sells Barstool back to Dave Portnoy. The network that controls sports news also controls sports gambling?

2. RIP to the man who helped white people dance, inventor of the Cha-Cha Slide, DJ Casper who died at age 58.

3. Florida Man…wins $1.58 billion PowerBall lottery ticket, the 3rd largest in history.

4. WeWork is on the brink of bankruptcy again. Didn’t we already make a whole TV show about this? I thought we were past this.

5. Tory Lanez sentenced to 10 years in Megan Thee Stallion shooting. By the time he’s out, AI will have my job and Trea Turner will still be signed by the Phillies. MORE BELOW

TORY LANEZ DRAMA ENDS?

Rapper Tory Lanez has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for his role in the 2020 shooting of Megan Thee Stallion.

It’s a confusing case that you’ve probably been hearing about for years. Here’s what you need to know if you’re just starting to pay attention (like me.)

Who Are These People? Tory Lanez is a Canadian rapper best known for his 2016 single ‘Say It.’ You’ve heard it. Megan Thee Stallion is also a rapper, known for songs like ‘Savage’ and ‘WAP.’ The two were friends.

The Incident: In August 2020, Tory, his bodyguard, Megan and her friend left a party from Kylie Jenner’s (Travis Scott’s baby mama/the super rich one who regrets plastic surgery) house in a car.

After an argument, Megan left the car and was shot in both her feet multiple times by Tory, while he told her to ‘dance bitch dance.’ Wild thing to do.

Megan told police she stepped on glass because she feared getting Lanez in trouble but in October 2020 she said on Instagram Live he shot her.

Post Incident: Megan was harassed by Tory, multiple celebrities, including 50 Cent, and people online who claimed she made up the story. Big Amber Heard – Johnny Depp vibes and part of the reason for his increased sentencing.

Tory Lanez wrote an entire rap album proclaiming his innocence and that Megan was just jealous of him. Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.

In December, Tory was found guilty of assault with a semiautomatic firearm, having a loaded, unregistered firearm in a vehicle, and discharging a firearm with gross negligence.

The Sentencing: Tory tried to blame his childhood trauma, alcoholism and hair loss (lol) for his actions and submitted letters of character testimony from 76  people, including singer Iggy Azaela (hot.)

It didn’t work and Lanez was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

There’s a ton more details in this article by Vulture if you’re bored today but that’s the high level for you to not sound like a fool at the water cooler.

MOST POPULAR SNACK FOOD IN EACH STATE

Alaska and Rhode Island just made my shit list. Nature Valley and Almond Joy? What is wrong with you?

Also, I love sunflower seeds as much as the next guy, but those are not ‘snacks.’ They are a fun way to pass the time on a long car ride and the only way to quit dip, but you don’t get remotely full eating them.

MEDIA: Richard Sherman joins Skip Bayless on First Take, will face fierce competition from Colin Cowherd for most insufferable show on TV.

MLB: Aaron Boone takes full accountability after losing his shit on umpire, saying that he “egged me on to go make a fool of myself with ejection.” Couldn’t agree more.

Fans and announcers rally behind suspended Orioles broadcaster Kevin Brown who committed the cardinal sin of saying the team sucks total ass.

Julio Rodriguez just made the swaggiest play of all time. Hard to be cooler than this.

NFL: Mr. Unlimited Loads? Russel Wilson impregnates Ciara for her 4th child and I can’t wait to hear the banger Future makes about it. Broncos country…let’s create life.

Sean Payton bans sunglasses and hats on the sideline during the preseason. This dude just gets it man.

This clip from the Johnny Football doc was insane. Almost gotta respect it.

CFB: I can’t wait until Brione Ramsey Brooks, the 455 pound TCU true freshman, finally fills into his frame. This is peak male performance.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

No More Strings Attached. Natalie Portman separates from husband after his affair and men are officially pigs.

My boy Chris can’t catch a break. Tampa mayor goes fishing with family and reeled in his $1.1 million stash of cocaine. Also, had no idea he was a Biden.

One winner will be selected from the 10k people who agreed to change their name to Subway in exchange for “lifetime” free food in the form a $50k gift card. That is maybe 2 years of sandwiches, not a lifetime.

Dinner with Jay-Z or 5 Cardi B microphones? Mic that singer threw at a fan during Las Vegas concert last week auctioned off for $100k.

Burger King launches ‘Royal Crispy Wrap,’ hopefully waking up the sleeping giant of the fast food industry: McDonald’s Snack Wrap. Shit changed my life.

THIS ONE SLAPPED

What a pleasure to have Willy D back in the mix. Check out his vlog for the tale of his journey from Peace Corps back to Friday Beers.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• This description of what happens when you die makes me want to die.

• The Alabama Ferry reenactments have been all over Twitter. This was my favorite.

• Wait, are people actually getting attacked by aliens in Peru?

• You don’t have to (and probably shouldn’t) make your passion your job.

• I can’t stop watching this guy’s videos.

BAR TAB WINNER

Congrats to this week’s winner, Steven Orsini, who balled tf out at Point Pleasant Boardwalk this weekend, courtesy of Daily Friday.

New winner selected every Tuesday morning so make sure you refer your friends with your link below.