The Daily Friday: Friday 10/18

1. Jay Cutler arrested for DUI, gun possession in Nashville last night. Let him sober up and do a little time and he could still play in the NFL. After seeing the QB play the Saints and Broncos trotted out last night, anything is possible.

2. Uber is looking into acquiring Expedia, the hotel booking site. First transportation, then food delivery, and now hotels. If they acquire Splitwise and FindDrugsHere.com, they’ll completely dominate the bachelor party industry.

3. FTC finalizes a ‘click to cancel’ rule that makes it easier to cancel subscriptions (RIP Planet Fitness.) Please also make it easier to cancel on your work friend from 3 jobs ago who keeps asking to get beers. Dude’s relentless.

4. Olympic snowboarder running largest coke supplier in Canada is on the run, accused of killing 3 people. Can’t wait until this movie drops and is called something cool like POWDER or The Abominable Blowman or Cocaine Air.

5. Guardians walk-off Yankees after a pinch hit 9th inning HR sends the game to extras (shoutout this announcer call) while the Mets got throat-fucked by the Dodgers, go down 3-1. Like most days, it's a bad day to be Mayor Adams.

TOP HALLOWEEN COSTUME SEARCHES

This week, Google released a breakdown of the top Halloween costume searches this year and let’s just say, Playdate Pod is not the all-knowing predictors of the future I thought they were (still think a Hawk Tuah costume would go crazy hard.)

All the findings are available online, but if you’re too lazy to click a link: LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.

• Beetlejuice costumes are going to be a massive hit this year, with searches for character costumes spiking after the release of the movie. I’ll be riding the Beetlejuice train as well and going as Lauren Boebert’s date (still looking for a Lauren Boebert if anyone is interested.)

  • Fun Fact: ‘beetlejuice shrunken head’ is the most search shrunken head term of all time. Very competitive category, congrats all around.

• Raygun, the wildly talented Australian breakdancer from the Olympics this year, came in at the #2 spot this year. I’m also predicting a heavy dose of couples going as the two Olympic shooters this year. Great excuse to carry a nerf gun around all night.

• ‘Chipotle burrito’ also cracked the top terms, though it’s hard to decipher if people are just hungry or searching for this sucker, but a win’s a win, I guess. Whoever wears that costume is going to be making a lotttt of ‘double meat is extra’ jokes.

• Congratulations are in order to Sabrina Carpenter, who snuck into the top 10, as ‘heart corset’ made a late push. This Halloween is like Christmas for girls who under 5 feet tall. This is your reward for having to stare at everyone’s necks all year.

• Rounding out the top 20 is ‘Dune,’ who dominated the ‘popcorn bucket’ search category. If anyone needs one, the theater wouldn’t let me return mine, even though it was lightly used.

THE DOC’S LOCKS

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As always the good doctor, Dr. Locks, is here all season long to help you sweat through your bets. Make sure you follow Hold the Phone on YouTube and watch live every Thursday and Sunday at noon EST for more picks.

Season Record: 13-7

#8 LSU at Arkansas: Arkansas ML

The Razorbacks haven’t played since they stunned previously #1 Tennessee two weeks ago, but I’m gonna lean on my one simple betting rule here: fade Brian Kelly on the road. Hogs take it in a nail-biter.

#17 Kansas State at West Virginia: WVU ML

I’ve seen a team more due than West Virginia. Don’t be surprised if they break out in a big way at home tomorrow and take home their first top 25 win of the year. I won’t be.

Nebraska at #16 Indiana: Nebraska +6.5

Why is everyone sleeping on Nebraska? They’re 5-1, just beat a very solid Rutgers team, and their only loss has come in overtime to a top 25 Illinois team. They might even win this one outright if you want to chase some road dog action. Book it.

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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Thank god Sydney Sweeney got jacked as hell. Now she can stand up to the mean waiter when he gets my dinner order wrong (chicken fingers with a glass of 1.5% chocolate milk, slightly warmed. Not that hard.) The perfect woman.

Al Pacino says he doesn’t live with his 16-month son Roman, but ‘he texts me from time to time’ and ‘everything he does is real.’ They already have a better relationship than me and my dad do. Jealous.

Autopsy reveals that a man died without knowing that he had 3 penises, with 2 extras hidden inside the scrotum. Think of all the women he could have disappointed. Shame.

Husband of the year: GA sheriff calls for backup to Burger King after they got his wife’s order wrong. Thank god this didn’t happen at Dunkin’. That city would burn.

Bath and Body Works apologizes, pulls seasonal candles that users say look like KKK members. In response, they will be launching the world’s least racist candle ever.

ICE IS READY

There’s a ton of shit going on in the sports world and it’s easier to lose track of the fact that the NHL season is already one week old. Hammer this week’s Empty Netters pod and get yourself caught up in less than an hour. You’re welcome.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• My roommate thinks Kamala is actually texting him. And I’m gonna let him have that. He really needs a win right now.

• Read this on your lunch break: Everything is Fortnite Now.

• Went down a deep rabbit hole on the Verge’s 2004 “website”, particularly the 2004 or 2024 quiz. The more things change, the more they stay the same. That’s a quote I made up, so please credit me.

• It’s been a long time since I’ve been as impressed by anyone as I am with this guy. I will make him proud this weekend. Somehow.

• GQ’s guide on How to Watch TV was actually sort of helpful. Staying up to date on everything is starting to become a full time job (no, I have not seen The Penguin yet and yes, I am planning to binge it this weekend.)

• I agree with this take whole-heartedly. What is the point of Tom Brady as an announcer if he’s going to be an owner of a team? Give us Greg Olsen back.

• It’s Friday. Let’s throw it back old school at the pregame tonight with OG Vine compilations to get the mood right before we end the night with 100 hours of Shreksophone at afters. Sweet dreams, boys.