The Grammy’s announce their nominations for the year in music, as Kendrick Lamar leads the way with 9 noms, followed by Lady Gaga, Jack Antonoff and Cirkut (sp?) Can’t believe this song was snubbed.
Grand Theft Auto VI is now delayed again, will release in November 2026 instead of May. Ya know what: take all the time you need, Jiggle Physicist. Can’t rush greatness.
Nancy Pelosi announces she will be retiring at the end of her term to
focus on insider trading full timespend more time with her family. Is it time to rebrand the greatest Twitter account ever to the Rick Scott Stock Trader?Further investigation into the Louvre heist reveals that the password for the security cameras was LOUVRE. Pretty air-tight. Even Nic Cage would’ve been stumped there. I would’ve guessed Password or MonaLisaB00B135.
Hundreds of flights canceled, as delays and cancellations are expected to double in the next week, even if the shutdown ends. I am once again calling for the Margaritaville High Speed Rail to be built and fix all this ASAP.
Another week is in the books as we race towards the AI singularity that will kill us all. Jennifer Aniston is dating a hypnotist. Tom Brady cloned his dog. Wemby is ruining basketball. We broke it all down on the podcast with our good friends Luke Null and Danny from Who’s Next Show. Check it out on YouTube, Spotify or Apple. Bless you.
DOC’S LOCKS
Welcome to the grind. We got another beautiful slate of college football this weekend. Time to make bank with some picks from Dr. Locks and Glue Guy.
SEASON RECORD: 15-14
Google him.
#2 Indiana at Penn State: Indiana -7.5
#3 Texas A&M at #22 Missouri: Texas A&M -6.5
#9 Oregon at #20 Iowa: Iowa +6.5
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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
A Twitch streamer has officially been streaming 24/7 every single day for 4 years straight. One of the greatest feats in human endurance since this gentleman showered for 14 days straight in his college dorm. Gotta be the pruniest skin in human history.
Technically Truman holds the streaming record, though this was against his will.
Miss Universe contestants stage a walk out after a pageant organizer berated Miss Mexico.’ Stupid move by him. There’s always a chance a Miss Universe contestant is a tomboy FBI agent who learns how to embrace her feminine side in a heartwarming, yet hilarious performance by Sandra Bullock. Can’t risk pissing someone like that off.
Don’t be mean to her she’s perfect
Antonio Brown is extradited to the US from Dubai to face an attempted murder charge from a shooting at a celebrity boxing match in May. Who’s going to run his Twitter now? This is a huge loss for the timeline.
If this means the collapse of CTESPN, I’m not sure how I’ll handle that
The Maldives implements generational tobacco ban, prohibits anyone born after January 1st, 2007 from ever legally buying cigs. The death of darts is truly sad. It’s totally fine and good for you if you only smoke when you drink and you drink 5x a week.
If Maldivians can’t do stuff like this, what’s even the point of being alive?
Who Was Today's Hump Day Hero?
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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED
SEND THIS TO YOUR DAD: a father (WR) and a son (CB) are both on the same college football team this season. God, I hope they get to shower together.
Read this on your lunch break: Does AI Actually Have an Inner Life??
Can’t wait to spend my day doing performative productivity today. Best way to spend a Friday.
Addicted to the new digital atlas that shows the Roman Empire’s ancient roads stretched almost 50% (!!!) longer than we previously thought. Like we needed another reason to think about the Roman Empire amiright (i actually never think about it and thought that trend was dumb but this is cool.)
The age of anti-social media is here. It may cost me my job but I’m here for it. My screentime has been outrageous lately.
Another request to help us out AND get 30% off merch at our store by ripping this short survey here. Thanks fam 🤝
It’s Friday. There’s no better way to start the weekend off than by watching Willy and Rusty drink their way around Epcot. Reminder to kiss your boy on the lips this weekend. Let’s have one.
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