Team USA continues to pull in golds at the Olympics, as 20 year old figure skater Alysa Liu puts together an incredible performance (honestly even more impressive on land), hockey beats Canada with a ridiculous goal and Mikela Shiffrin wins and makes me cry. I never want the Olympics to end.
White House orders release of classified alien and UFO files by government agencies due to “tremendous increased interest” after Obama spilled the beans on a podcast. Barack, if you’re reading this (which I assume you are) - please bring up Finland next. I need to know if it’s real or not.
Grandson of inventor of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup calls out Hershey’s for using bad chocolate. Can only hope my future grandson defends the legacy of my invention (Red Bull-Jameson-Pop Rocks cocktail) like that one day.
Prince Andrew arrested following Epstein Files revelations, the first Royal arrest since this fella 400 years ago. A very respectful tip of the flat cap to England. At least one country is holding these people accountable.
Man who lived rent-free in the New Yorker Hotel has pleaded guilty to fraud after a 5 years stretch where he claimed ownership of the hotel due to a legal loophole. Honestly, kind of worth it. I might try this out next weekend.
The timeline has been HOT this week. KD’s burner. Punch the Monkey. Olympic Village running fresh out of condoms. Rusty Featherstone joined us to break it all down on the podcast. Just a little something to take you into the weekend.
JAY LENO’S STEAM CAR
Look, it hasn’t been the best week. Weather’s been shitty. Football’s over. Punch the monkey is now getting bullied by other monkeys. Chris from this season of Love is Blind has really been pissing me off.
But then I saw this picture of Jay Leno riding a 119 year old Steam Car and it gave me hope.
If Jay Leno can survive definitely getting beat up by the mob falling down a hill that one time last year and still have the spirit to ride around LA in this whip, we can too. Let’s have a weekend.
STYLES MAKE FIGHTS
There’s nothing that gets me going quite like a good Saturday fight night. Gather the crew, toss a few back, and lock in for some good, old fashioned brawling. That’s what makes this Saturday a BIG one in my household: we’ve got Ryan Garcia vs. reigning champion Mario Barrios, for the world title.
Despite being a household name, Ryan Garcia has yet to win a full world title, which blows my mind. BOLD PREDICTION: that ends this Saturday in Vegas. Garcia by knockout. Book it.
There’s only one way to watch Barrios vs. Garcia this Saturday 2/21: on DAZN. Use code FRIDAY7 for $5 off PPV at checkout. Let’s go.
WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
I’d like to give a big. sloppy thank you kiss to the good folks at Pixar for making Woody bald in the new Toy Story 5 trailer. I love when my heroes age along with me.
Get this man on the next flight to Turkey ASAP
Just an incredible bodycam video here of the Iowa Alpha Delta Phi pledges in the basement. Nothing brings young men together like psychological torture and failure to cooperate with the police. The pledges were dialed.
Guantanomo Bay has nothing on a Big 10 hazing ritual
Not sure if LaMelo Ball is a worse driver on the court or on the roads. The streets of Charlotte simply aren’t safe with this man around.
This is exactly the kind of car that I expected LaMelo Ball to be driving
Who Are You Buying a Beer For?
THIS ONE SLAPPED
You need to watch this video.
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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED
If you’re actually employed, have any sort of real hobbies and/or a personal life, this guide to the Clavicular Cinematic Universe is for you. Don’t ignorance-max.
Read this on your lunch break: Inside the Gay Tech Mafia
Rusty and Willy dominated their hangovers and ranked the 5 best bars in Osaka, Japan. The stuff of greatness.
Great article on women who post their husband’s bad behavior online and then defend it to the death.
Fully locked in to the saga of Barbara, the cheating senior Mah Jong player
This might be the most flawless food order of all time. Well done sir.
It’s Friday. Fuck it. Coreys.
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