Netflix taps out of Warner Bros. deal, leaving Paramount & David Ellison the likely winners (walking away $2.8B isn’t a total L.) With his dad Larry buying Tik-Tok, the Ellisons now own everything that enters our eyeballs. Yayyyy : )
Hawks will honor Atlanta strip club Magic City in a tribute night at the arena involving their lemon pepper wings and a TI performance (they’re playing the Orlando Magic which is perfect.) Lou Williams will always be a legend.
Clintons testify in Epstein investigation, as more files continue to emerge (or not emerge) days after Bill Gates apologizes for his involvement and admits to 2 affairs in a company wide town hall. Bro went full Norwegian skiier mode. Crazy that we’re still just at the tip of the iceberg with this stuff.
Prominent Supreme Court attorney convicted of tax evasion in trial related to his absurd career as a high-stakes poker player in a trial that had testimony from Tobey Maguire. Winning $51M is kinda worth the $500k in legal fees, tbh.
A baby pygmy hippo named Jellybean was born at an Arizona zoo, immediately unseats Punch the Monkey in the
Chad RankingsViral Zoo Animal rankings. Hippos reign supreme once again. All is right in the realm.
JEFF PROBST DISCIPLES ASSEMBLE: as massive Survivor fans, we were fired up to get Season 48 winner Kyle Fraser on the podcast to talk all about his time on Season 50. Lying to your wife to prepare is definitely the move. Top tier episode across the board.
BECOME REGULARS AT THE GOLF-COURSE PUB
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Move via: hodgey_rosay
I swear this guy read my mind. It's a constant thought I have. Usually pops up right around grill room (golf course pub) beer number 1.5. I'll look down the inside of my clear plastic cup and see that sparkling Coors Light head slowly come to a settle. "Should've hit 7 there" "Why don't I come here more often?"
Got everything you need: Hotdog. Check. All sorts of booze. Check. What else you need? T.V.? Oh yeah. How about a fucking driving range, putting green, did I mention 18 holes? Holy chills.
We're talking about a drinking establishment... With all these commodities.
You break it down like that people start thinking you're referring to some Simulator Golf Club. $250 a month to hit into a rug. "Ahhh... Sorry. Looks like the earliest bay I can get you is 6:45."
Meanwhile, hodgey and the boys are shuffling over to the range after enjoying two quarters of Luka magic. Huddled around a couple mats, testing out Kenny's new driver. Beer in hand. Condensation seeping through the cabretta leather. No monthly dues, no guest limit, just the squad sippin' beers, watching ball, hittin’ high buttery cuts.
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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
Absolutely loved Ryan Gosling winning Jeopardy on a Hail Marry guess. I don’t care that it’s viral marketing for his Project Hail Mary movie. It’s better than him pretending to be in love with his costar or pushing a fuckable popcorn bucket like everyone else.
Me seeing the waiter walk out with my personal pitcher and 2 dozen buffalo wings
Shoutout to this parent for packing a Lemon Drop Martini Cut Water in their kid’s lunchbox. Doesn’t matter that it was accidental. We need to bring back the 3 Martini Lunch and it starts with the next generation. Kudos.
Kids can have a little Martini for lunch now and then as a treat. It’s fine
My heart breaks for Johnny Knoxville, who gets chocked up talking about how he couldn’t “mess around with bulls anymore” after a head injury. Say what you want about the man, but he cares about his art. That’s more than most can say.
Me talking about how I can’t do whip-its with my boys anymore because the doctor said my brain is entirely swiss cheese and I probably shouldn’t even be driving anymore
Fully support this man getting jailed for feeding a hawk a Buzzball. Hawks are noble, beautiful creatures and deserve the good stuff. A single malt Scotch MINIMUM.
Actually think anyone that serves Buzzball should be jailed in general. Just saying
Man, I just love pulling classic pranks on my co-workers like this construction worker who demolished a Port-a-Potty with someone in it. Just normal workplace hijinks.
That’s what you get for using the bathroom during your shift Bill! Totally got your ass
I see what you’re doing, Ms. Alba. Posting pics with your “new boyfriend” to make me jealous. It would work if I was the type to get jealous, but I just feel bad for you.
Please ignore the DMs that I sent to you last night. My friend took my phone and thought it’d be funny or something I think. I don’t get how this next fangled technology works. Have a good day and I’m praying for your journey
Who Are You Buying a Beer For?
DOC’S LOCKS
It’s prime college hoops season. We’re one week out from conference tournament time and it’s time to lock the hell in. Here are some picks from the good doctor, Dr. Locks.
CBB RECORD: 0-0
4 LEG PARLAY: Duke ML + Tennessee ML + Kentucky ML + Arizona ML
This will feed families. You’re welcome.
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THEY SAW MY ALGORITHM
The Casey Affleck in Manchester by the Sea impersonation here is an all-timer by Chet. Just a miracle of a video.
STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED
Japan Month has come to an end the only way Willy and Rusty know how: trying every drink at Universal Japan and ranking them 1-9. #Chug4GRU.
Read this on your lunch break: The Plot to Save America.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there’s truly nothing scarier a bad teen in a snowstorm.
What is a Palantir? An FAQ from Brian Phillips (i’ll share anything this guy writes.)
Can’t decide what I’m more excited for, this Louis Theroux doc on the Manosphere or the new season of Jury Duty (can’t believe they pulled it off again.) Look at all that the content gods have given us on this blessed harvest.
Very helpful article here on why you’re more likely to experience AI psychosis than join a cult, but what if you’re down for both? Asking for a friend.
A new 30 year old roommates mic’d up has graced our timeline.
It’s Friday. Fuck it. Best Dr. Cox Scrubs moments in honor of the reboot.
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