The Daily Friday: Friday 2/7

1. NFL awards drop, as Jayden Daniels wins ROY, Saquon gets OPOY, Patrick Surtain II gets DPOY (this stat was insane) and Josh Allen wins MVP. Save some for the rest of us, brother. Someone put Slick Rick in the Glue Guy HOF.

2. Colombia’s prez wants to legalize cocaine, says its ‘no worse for you than whiskey.’ Did my college buddy who dropped out to DJ and get into crypto become president of Colombia without telling me? Gotta stay in touch more.

3. Ohtani’s interpreter gets 57 months in jail after stealing $17M to cover his gambling debts, roughly equivalent to one month/$300k stolen. Honestly, kind of worth it? If I had richer friends, I’d absolutely consider stealing from them.

4. New study shows the average human brain may have as much as one spoonful of microplastics in it. This is the size of the spoonful of microplastics in my brain. Suck on that, losers.

5. It’s Super Bowl Weekend. LET’S MAKE SOME PICKS.

SUPER BOWL PREDICTIONS

Here are our Top 10 Things that Will Absolutely Happen at the Super Bowl.

1. Kendrick Lamar calls Drake a pedophile during halftime in front of the entire world.

Despite some concerns about a defamation lawsuit, this the biggest lock of the century. He just needs a lawyer up there saying ‘allegedly’ after every line and he’ll be fine. I think.

2. Someone is way too angry about Taylor Swift

You’re right, we should ignore the biggest celebrity of our era probably getting engaged to a first ballot HOFer at the end of the game. You don’t care about her so much that you spent 4 hours complaining about it.

3. A commercial involves AI and your dad texts you about it and you have to spend 15 minutes explaining it

“What is this DeepSeek crap?”

4. The phrase “This is why you don’t bet against Patrick Mahomes” is said 200x.

Still gonna do it. That’s why Dr. Locks gets paid to bet and not me.

5. You crack a beer in the 4th quarter that makes you more full than drunk.

Super Bowl drunk is one of the worst drunks. Guzzling beer and fried food all night after a weekend of guzzling beer and fried food is a recipe for disaster.

6. Jason Kelce is in more commercials than you thought was humanly possible.

I really wanted to like this guy, but it’s just too much. BRING BACK GOOD SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS. Please.

7. Big Dom the Security Guard plays a pivotal role in some way

I’ll take “Big Dom springs from the sideline and tackles a Chiefs player who is running for a go-ahead touchdown late in the game” for +1000 please. Easy hammer.

8. Someone is way too into Taylor Swift

We get it, you’re only here for Taylor Swift. It’s a Taylor Swift show with football being played. Nice. Can you please go outside, develop a new interest to base your personality around, and then come back when you’re done?

9. Ray Lewis Murders Someone Again

I really hope this doesn’t happen.

10. You clog the toilet in an irreparable way that people will think and talk about for years to come, both in front of your face and behind your back.

Just accept it.

THE DOC’S LOCKS

Let’s check in with Dr. Locks MD, for our last week of NFL action until August. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. As always, we’ll be partnering with BetMGM, so make sure you sign up today using FBDAILY for up to $1500 in free bets.

SEASON RECORD: 32-21

EAGLES ML +100, $5k

It’s been a long season and it’s time to put the nuts on the table. As long as the refs let them, I see no way the Eagles lose this game. I’m sure I won’t live to regret those words.

If you’re looking for some player props, Willy, Rusty and Strider got some hot tips from beyond the grave in New Orleans last week. Don’t see how any of these puppies miss.

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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

ICYMI: a clip of a Spanish reality TV show contestant watching his girlfriend cheat on him live on camera while screaming ‘Montoya por favor!!’ has gone mega, ultra-platinum viral. We may have a Hawk Tuah 2.0 on our hands. Prepare yourself.

Kudos to the man who lived underwater for 120 days just to prove a point. As someone who once got addicted to cigs and then quit to show how my roommate easy it was, this is the level of petty I support.

Insurance company denies $10k prize for U-Mass student who won a halftime contest, saying his foot was on the line after his half-court shout. Have insurance companies learned nothing from Luigi? Pay the man.

Kanye is going off on Twitter, claims he’s a Nazi, Diddy should be free, he has dominion over his wife and that he’s autistic. Can he just drop his new clothing line or whatever he’s promoting and move on?

WE ARE BACK BABY

After two long months, AFTV is finally back. Thank God almighty.

Season 4 dropped yesterday with a banger for the ages that’s an absolutely must watch. I actually did both parts of the iconic Billy-Chet romance scene for my acting class final last week, so this hits particularly hard.

Plus, the squad has a brand spanking new website. Check it out below.

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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Don’t know how he keeps creating the most relatable comedy of all time, but Sahib Singh never misses. Classic scenario we’ve all seen dozens of times.

• Read this on your lunch break: It’s Almost Friday! How Friday Beers Recruited Creators, Built a Studio and Became the Future of Comedy. (Not a joke, Variety wrote this article about our company. LFG.)

• Don’t mind me, I’ll just be cranking out some macrodata refinement today at my desk. Grinding for that waffle party 😤

• A tribe of remote Amazonians doesn’t experience the same heart issues that plague every other human alive. Here’s why.

• Stop having boring pregames. Spice them up with the Almost Friday card game. Capeesh?

• It’s Friday. Let this 30 minute compilation of 3 point heat checks inspire you to have the courage to potentially consider maybe speaking to a woman tonight. Good luck soldiers.