Rory takes an early leader at The Master’s (though he’ll be fighting some demons along the way), as Robert MacIntyre gets scolded for flipping off the hole (relatable), Viktor Hovland is dating his teacher (ok, Johnny Sins) and Jack Niklaus has still got it. Stars: they’re just like us.
A chimpanzee ‘Civil War’ has broken out in Uganda, as two groups of have split into factions and begun a bloody conflict. If only we still had a strong, powerful voice in the community to mediate. We miss you every day, king.
Melania Trump denies knowing Jeffrey Epstein in a rare public appearance, seemingly unprompted and for no reason at all. Using Epstein files to distract from a war you started to distract from the Epstein files. Checkmate.
Justice Department investigate the NFL for anticompetitive practices surrounding subscription TV contracts. When will they investigate Vrabel for canoodling with Russini and give all the Pats draft picks to the Jets? Only fair.
Artemis II is scheduled to splash down at 8 pm EST off the coast of San Diego after a historic, 10-day journey. I found this quote to be quite profound. T-minus 3 months until Jalen Hurt drops that line during a press conference.
PREGAME AT GRANDPA’S
This entry is a small taste of the content from our absolute boys over at Could Be The Movesletter. Give them a sub for gold in your inbox every Friday.
The 2026 Moves Madness Tournament crowned a winner Tuesday night. Grandpa Pregame (pictured above) took home the W in a dominant performance. Just a juggernaut of a 2 seed. Won every matchup by at least 20%. Special stuff.
Wanted to take a moment and pay tribute to this elite Move. When joeh_2021 sent it over, I immediately replied, "Pregaming with the Gpa is all time." I know you can make the gag, "What if both Grandpas are dead?" Which, yeah. I mean, I'm in the same boat. And I think it's why this Move hits so hard. There's some serious realness attached to this puppy.
People, moments, the good times, bad times, it's all going to end. We all have a finite amount of hangs in us. Sharing a couple beers, Diet Cokes, or tea with someone who, let's be real, might not have many left... What it's all about man.
I did a decent job kicking it with my Grandpas while they were here. Would never shy away from a call or having a long chat at family gatherings. Was I ever able to roll over with a personal sixer, watch a little ball, rip 2-3 beers and go on my way? Unfortunately, no. One passed when I was young and the other lived halfway across the country. Would I have loved to? Yeah man. That would be sick.
Maybe not having a Grandpa to share this Move with gives us a little more perspective on how great this Move is. Whatever light or POV you view this Move in, it's clear it connected with a lot of people. What a Move. Shoutout all the Grandpas out there.
WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
Hunter Biden has challenged Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. to a cage match fight, which would be sick. Hammering Hunter ML (for obvious reasons.) Honestly, I’d watch an entire card of former president children fights. Don’t sleep on the Obama girls
Now if Barron is involved and it’s some sort of height based competition (basketball, volleyball, getting things out of high cabinets, etc.) that changes things,
This dog who started honking the horn after being in a car for a few minutes just gets it. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you don’t speak up for yourself, no one will.
Me at work after threatening to go to HR after my boss slightly raises his voice at me
You know what? Fuck it. If I was a Rockies fan and we were .500 for the first time in forever, I’d pop the top too. We need more of this in sports (they’re back below .500)
Meanwhile Eagles fans will threaten to kill Nick Sirianni if he doesn’t take them to back to back SuperBowls
Massive respect to Cambodia for erecting a 7 foot statue of Magawa, the rat that sniffed out land minds and diseases like tuberculosis, saving hundreds of lives. Easily in my top 3 most impressive rats (closely followed by Remy from Ratatouille and the rat that started the Bubonic Plague.)
Stuart Little might be able to drive a toy car, but he doesn’t hold a candle to this bomb sniffing rat. Also, he’s a mouse so fuck him. Seriously fuck Stuart Little. The orphanage that housed him and got him adopted should be investigated. Those are tax payer resources going to a fucking rodent, who is taking a spot in a family from a well deserving human orphan. Also, he thinks he’s so fucking cool with his sunglasses. I want to snap his neck.
Who Are You Buying a Beer For?
DOC’S LOCKS
it’s baseball season and Junkie Fridays are BACK from Dr. Locks and Glue Guy. The first of many, many Friday to come. Fire me up.
NO RUN FIRST INNINGS (NRFIs): Houston Astros @ Seattle Mariners (-135)
6 LEG PARLAY: Cubs, Red Sox, Reds, Brewers, Tigers, Dodgers (+1475)
Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US) Call 1-800-327-5050 (MA)
*21+ only. Please Gamble Responsibly. Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ). First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Bonus bets are non-withdrawable. See BetMGM.com for Terms. US Promotional offers not available in Ontario and Puerto Rico
WE DRANK 12 BEERS TO FIND THE ALCATRAZ FUGITIVES
Another mystery solved from Rusty and Cayson. We gotta get these guys on the Nancy Guthrie case.
STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED
Genuinely kind of glad that TMZ is breaking the news that aliens exist. If we can trust anyone to get some pics of these suckers, it’s the paparazzi.
Read this on your lunch break: The Light from the Dark Side of the Moon.
I want to live in a world where Zombies Sleep with You to Turn You. I’m already sleeping with them anyways, might as well get something out of it.
We are now entering the era of the influencer novel and I’m here for it. (Here’s a link to break the paywall.)
It was incredibly fucked up and over the line for her to make of him like this. Not cool, lady. Not cool.
Could fantasy baseball be the institution that finally solves all the problems ailing the male community? Probably not, but it might!
These videos get me every goddam time. So good.
This is a great read. Wtf is going on these days? (Paywall breaker link here.)
It’s Friday. Fuck it. I couldn’t pick between Allen Iverson’s high school football highlights and my own, so I just included them both. Two very similar athletes.
Like our newsletter? You’ll love our podcast. Episodes out every Tuesday and Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.
How Friday Was Today's Post?
