Peak sports weekend has hit, as we get Team USA’s first game tonight against Paraguay (i’m rocking this shirt,) a potential Knicks close-out Saturday (this sets the mood I’d say) and Stanley Cup Game 6 Sunday (PSA to the players: please treat the cup better than these guys.) Who’s got it better than us?
Olivia Rodrigo has released a new album ‘you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love,’ in case you’d like to have something to talk about with a woman tonight. Hard for me to listen without thinking of this video, but I’m trying my best.
SpaceX becomes the largest IPO ever, as shares surge 20% at the opening, making Elon the world’s first trillionaire. Once I pay off my Chipotle Klarna debt, I’ll buy a share and toss you a bone Mr. Musk. Let’s get you to $100T.
Disclosure Day debuts today in theaters, a film about UFOs and aliens that Spielberg calls ‘closer to fact than fiction.’ I believe him. My prediction: the aliens will show up at the White House UFC fight tomorrow (they’ll be the only celebrities there.) They’re massive Sean O’Malley fans. Everyone knows that.
Canada’s introduces bill to ban social media for kids under age 16, following the lead of Australia, who banned it earlier this year. That’s going to completely decimate Mr. Beast’s entire audience. Please reconsider.
SHARING AMERICAN CULTURE WITH WORLD CUP TOURISTS
The World Cup is finally here and as a host nation for this year’s World Cup, it’s not our job to win (we probably won’t.) It’s our job to participate in a cultural exchange with visitors from across the world and share all the great things about this country.
I’ve already seen some heartwarming stuff in Mexico and we’re off to a good start in Kansas and with this gentleman, but we need to be doing more.
We broke this down in depth on the podcast this week with our special guest Jack Atkins, but here’s some key American experiences I’m excited for tourists to experience.
this is our Collosseum
Root Beer and Ranch Dressing: Just now learning that these don’t exist in Europe. They are living in the dark ages and it’s time to bring them to the modern era. PS- if the bottle’s not this size, send it back.
Iowa Frat Hazing Basement: for any visitors to the Midwest looking for a true American experience, we have an entire team of pledges on call ready to haze you. Just say the word.
Bass Pro Shops Pyramid: will hit hard for all, but especially the ones from Egypt, who might finally get to see a truly impressive pyramid in their lives. My heart is full.
MSG if the Knicks win in 6: need a dude from Bulgaria to have a traffic cone perfectly land on his head like this gentleman. We all one human tribe.
Jersey Mikes: #13, Mike’s way. Let’s teach Italy how to make an Italian sandwich.
My Buddy Jack’s Birthday Kick-Back: there’s drinks provided, but BYOB is always appreciated. There’s a pool so bring a suit. Parking is tough so probably smart to Uber.
4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest: just connected the dots that people may get to see Joey Chestnut achieve flow state. A true example of American greatness. It could inspire them to invent for for-profit healthcare and prison systems like us.
WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
There is growing rumors online that Shakira has been replaced with a body double for the World Cup Opening Ceremony. I’m all for a conspiracy theory, but this is ridiculous. Just ask the hips if they’re the real Shakira or not. They’re incapable of lying.
She’s got the most honest hips in the business. PS - there’s a reason Wikipedia has an entire page called ‘The Cultural Impact of Shakira.’ This woman is a goddam star. Don’t question her
An English gentleman is in hot water after he grabbed a seagull out of the air and punched it to death after it stole his pastry. While I’m always pro-defending your property and I have to admit that that is actually very impressive to snatch a ‘gull like that, this went a smidge too far. Good to know for the next beach outing.
This photo is sick as hell. totally fine to snatch a seagull mid-thievery but no need to beat it to a fucking pulp
Respect the hell out of the office worker who connected a Whoop to his work calendar and created a leaderboard of which coworkers stressed him out the most. Way easier than reflecting on your relationships and how you approach work-stress.
I’ll give it to The Cut. I don’t always love the personal essays, but they absolutely know how to get me to click on an Emily Ratajkowski article. Pretty solid read here.
Emily if that’s what your apartment looks like, I’m happy to float you some money. I’m not sure what happened to yours, but I can easily steal my dad’s credit card and it’ll be like a week before he notices
Who Are You Buying a Beer For?
DOC’S LOCKS
Let’s make bank this weekend with Who’s Next and Dr. Locks. Tap in for a full breakdown.
6-LEGGER PARLAY:+ 2200
Leg 1: USA vs. Paraguay ML. That first American goal is going to hit like crack.
Leg 2: Red Sox vs. Rangers: Red Sox ML. Sonny Grey gets the job done.
Leg 3: Dodgers vs. White Sox: Dodgers ML. Sox are hot. Not this hot. LA takes it.
Leg 4: Phillies vs. Brewers: Brewers ML. Andrew Misiorowski is unhittable.
Leg 5: Braves vs. Mets: Braves ML. Division games mean more and ATL is just better.
Leg 6: A’s vs. Rockies: A’s ML. Death. Taxes. Fading the Rockies on the road. W.
Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US) Call 1-800-327-5050 (MA)
*21+ only. Please Gamble Responsibly. Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ). First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Bonus bets are non-withdrawable. See BetMGM.com for Terms. US Promotional offers not available in Ontario and Puerto Rico
When You Ask Your Boss for Help
When I say this latest sketch from AFTV is cinema, I’m not doing a Rizzo from Survivor impression. I actually mean that. Just an incredible video from the team.
STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED
Rusty and Willy drank and ranked the top 10 bars in Venice and it might be my favorite one of these that they’ve done. Lotttt of platonic smooching.
Read this on your lunch break: Inside the White House Freak Out Over the Epstein Files.
An election breakdown for the voting on the upcoming boy’s trip destination. This is the kind of journalism this world needs today.
The Friction Reading List: 5 articles on why inconvenience can be good for you.
This is the only kind of Subway Takes video I want to watch any more. Just remarkable.
Sometimes I forget how sick it was that Hunter S. Thompson was just ripping articles on ESPN back in the early ‘00s. This one hits hard, this one slaps and this one rocked. The entire archive is worth a read to close out the day.
Extremely thoughtful breakdown on how Summer House became about existential dread this season. A+ work.
It’s Friday. In honor of 24 Jump Street getting green-lit, let’s hit some bloopers and bring it home with best scenes from 21 and 22. Fire me the hell up.
Like our newsletter? You’ll love our podcast. Episodes out every Tuesday and Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.
How Friday Was Today's Post?
