It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to know to sound smart.
Snow continues to fall across the US with over a foot falling across the East cost, more than 800k power outages, and a shit-load of exploding trees.) Please keep the streets clear so this guy can tail whip his buggy.
Alex Honnold completes live-streamed climb of the world’s tallest skyscraper after delaying 24 hours for inclement weather (this video is bonkers,) taking home 1/3 of the NBA veteran’s minimum. Worth it.
Super Bowl LX is set, as the Patriots and Seahawks will square off in a rematch from Macolm Butler’s goal-line pick 11 years ago. We should’ve known this would happen when we got a new Pope. The script was written.
US Rep. Max Frost was punched in the face at a Sundance Film festival afterparty by a ‘drunk and aggressive uninvited guest.’ Jeez, even Harvey didn’t resort to that when E screwed him. Everyone dial it back a little bit.
Tik-Tok USA is already broken, as users report an inability to upload videos, issues with their own algorithms and massive outages just a few days after a sale was completed. Please fix it. Don’t make me have to learn to read.
NFL: Not a surprise at all to me that Sam Darnold outduels Matt Stafford (this was an insane throw and catch) to take the Seahawks to the Super Bowl. Only to be expected from the grandson of Dick Hammer.
The Jets trained him well. We deserve a check in the mail
Congratulations to Mike MacDonald for becoming the third youngest coach to make the Super Bowl. Hell of an accomplishment to celebrate with your son during your weekly 30 minute hang sesh.
Drake Maye has some gigantic beach balls on him. If he can throw for more than 200 yards in the Super Bowl, the Pats might have a shot.
This snow time lapse in Denver was legit insane. Two completely different games.
You know a coat is sick if it can make an NFL ref look dripped out. I need this jacket.
NBA: HEARTWARMING: Mummu saves a crazed Lu Dort from falling to his imminent death. Some things are bigger than sports 🥹
This half-time, half-court fan shot that went off the top of the backboard and in needs a Mike Breen Double Bang. Someone edit that in.
Not sure if LaMelo and Moussa are having a Heated Rivalry moment or just clowning around, but I don’t really care. This is beautiful & looks like an absolute blast.
This looked like a commercial for Skyrizzy or twice daily Mounjaro
SUMO WRESTLING: Don’t look now, but we may have our first ever European born champion. Sign this gentleman to an NFL roster.
WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
Sydney Sweeney has wrapped the Hollywood sign in her bras, could face jail time for trespassing. Anyone who criticizes this fails to recognize that this is a meta piece of performance art about how her sexuality is supporting Hollywood. Read a book.
This is a more impressive climb than anything Alex Hannold has pulled off
French fries and onions wash up on a beach in the UK after a cargo ship spills. Chips, onions and sand has instantly catapulted to the most delicious British dish of all time.
Oi bruv, you’ve never ‘ad brickle bracket and beans with fizzy whickle innit??
Thai woman goes viral for dating two twin brothers. Well, she definitely has a type.
Love is love is love is love
Who's Having the Best Monday?
READ THAT AGAIN
Editor’s Note: We’re introducing a new weekly guest segment from our good friend at Read That Again, the Entrapranure newsletter, covering the biggest finance news of the week in a way that only they can. ENJOY.
Salutations, net girthmaxxers. The Winter Olympics are right around the corner. And it turns out I’m not the only past Olympian who will be missing out on profit-sharing spaghetti futures this Winter in Milan due to impending federal charges…
Former Olympian snowboarder Ryan Wedding was arrested in Mexico on Friday for doing nothing more than engaging in capitalism. Also, for running a drug trafficking ring with the Sinaloa Cartel and killing a federal witness. (How else do you build generational uncle-wealth?)
After finishing 24th (low rare fish count) at the 2002 SL,UT Winter Games, I consulted Ryan on his transformation into “El Jefe,” a “modern day Pablo Escobar,” per FBI director Kash(money) Patel (I was going for 21st century Helen Keller).
If you’re the kind of person who wants to live your life to the fullest, aka become a drug kingpin living the high life with Mexico’s finest BBLs, consider Read That Again your personal playbook. Occasional Tuesdays (every), I share the millionaire grindset in smoothbrain language. The many try, the few do. Few will that. Again.
STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY
New life goal: attend the rolling of the Stephen Hawking’s in Spain. What a beautiful world we live in.
Read this on your lunch break: The Laptop Boyfriends Can’t Stop Watching YouTube in bed.
All time article title from the NYT - “I let my wife have an affair. Do I console her now that it’s over?” Quality reporting as always.
ChatGPT convinced this 16 year old boy to do the unthinkable…release SoundCloud music. My heart breaks.
Anyone else unbelievably fired up about Survivor 50? This trailer has me ready to run through a damn wall.
It’s Monday. Let’s start the week off on the right foot with 15 minutes of Derrick Rose highlights. Let that jersey hang in the rafters forever.
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