It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to know to sound smart.
A record 82 million people are traveling for Thanksgiving, 90% of which are expected to drive at least 50 miles. What a perfect time to catch up on the latest Daily Friday Podcast episodes. The only proven cure for road rage.
Donald Glover reveals he suffered a stroke and had a hole in his heart, returns to perform at Camp Flog Gnaw. He’s easily the GOAT Internet sketch comedian turned rapper/actor/writer. Glad we didn’t lose him.
Mexico’s Fatima Bosch wins Miss Universe, weeks after she walked out of an event where a pageant executive called her “a dummy.” Hell yeah, Fatima. Follow us back on Instagram, please.
Twitter releases new location feature showing where accounts are based, as several prominent MAGA-branded accounts are exposed as being from outside the US. Daily reminder that like 80% of the Internet is bots and trolls.
Wicked: For Good takes home $150M, good for second highest box of the year. Enjoy it while it lasts, theater kids. Zootopia 2 is coming this week for your throne (shoutout Judy Hopps, easily top 3 sexiest cartoon bunnies alive.)
PS - the final season of Stranger Things is coming out on Wednesday. Here’s our predictions for what will happen (we haven’t watched since Season 1.)
NFL: Jameis Winston’s receiving TD, pregame speech (extremely well-said) and trick play weren’t enough for the Giants, who once again blew a 4th quarter lead and fired their DC. If even Jameis can’t fix you, you might be a cursed franchise.
It’s actually quite remarkable that they lost all these games. Hard to do.
The Eagles really shit down their leg yesterday, didn’t they? I give full credit for the Cowboy’s win to this special teams player. Fire me the hell up.
It’s time for the Vikings to fake another JJ McCarthy ankle injury. This was a fun stat.
Did someone give Tom Brady the pass so he could say this?
NCAAF: This botched UCLA fake field goal may be the funniest play I’ve ever seen.
Life Lesson: DON’T STAND ON THE TRACKS WHEN BRUTUS THE BUCKEYE IS COMING.
Brian Kelly’s son at LSU senior night is a sight to behold. Free my boy BK.
I honestly thought he was talking about Burger King the first time I saw this clip, which makes more sense than his dad who is getting paid $50M to not work
NBA: Yes, I agree with Klay Thompson in this argument with Ja Morant. Yes, I can’t look at him without picturing him as Patrick Star. Both things can be true in life.
I, for one, am stunned than Michael Porter Jr. and Liangelo Ball are not good tippers. They seemed like such upstanding citizens.
NHL: I just became a massive Coachella Valley Firebirds fan. Electric fight.
HS FOOTBALL: There will never be a worse call in sports than ruling this a touchdown. Every ref in America should be thrown in jail.
Is there any cooler story right now than Blackhawk’s first round pick Mason West deciding to play his senior year of football as a QB because he “owed it to his team” and leading them to the Minnesota state championship? I submit that there is not.
HORSE RACING: An ambulance driving through a horse race is a sight I never thought I would behold. Goodness gracious.
That’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here. Wellllll it’s a bit of a funny story
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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
Congratulations are in order to Mimi, who went 100 days without hitting a pedestrian with her car, and got taken to Chili’s by her grandson. Good behavior should always be rewarded by Triple Dippers. Couldn’t support this any more.
I have the same agreement with myself, but it’s for 24 hours. Easier said than done.
Thank you to the NY Post and RFK Jr. for introducing me to the concept of felching. If this is what it’s like to have a worm in your brain, I want one sooooo bad.
Felching does kind of sound like how you’d describe RFK’s voice, but trust me, it’s way, way cooler than that.
You will be telling your children about where you were when the Rizzler and Hasbulla officially met. This is a more significant meeting than the Paris Peace Accords.
I genuinely believe this will change the world.
A town in Alaska named Utqiagvik just entered a period called the Polar Night during which they won’t see the sun for 64 days. That’s what you get for naming your town after the Wifi password they give you on the back of the router.
Nick Swardsen’s character in Benchwarmers would absolutely thrive here
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MONDAY MOVE
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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY
We need a jacked, hung dictator next because Hitler is giving micropenises a bad name worldwide. Someone step up.
Read this on your lunch break: A Startup’s Bid to Dim the Sun
Whoever is in charge of these look alike cams needs an immediate raise.
The Sandman is coming for his Oscar (he should’ve gotten it for Jack & Jill, but we live and we learn.)
Genuinely no clue how this was edited, but recreating the entire 8 mile rap with movie quotes is a remarkable piece of work.
If you haven’t seen Grace Reiter’s parody of Hunger Games, you need to carve out 42 minutes today and rip it on YouTube. Incredible piece of cinema.
It’s Monday of Thanksgiving week. Let’s attack it like Prime Adrian Peterson. One of one.
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