It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to know to sound smart.
Dodgers win a truly epic Game 7 to take home their 2nd World Series title in a row. This series had absolutely everything you could possibly want. Gotta feel for Toronto fans. This one is gonna sting for a long time.
Government shutdown hits Day 34, which means that, in addition to everything else going on, flight delays and cancellations will increase as well. Incredible to believe that flying could get worse. Figure it out, guys.
Egypt’s Grand Museum opens after 2 decades and $1B of investment, will house a ton of cool shit like a 53 foot hanging obelisk, a statue of King Ramses II and a boat belonging to King Khufu. The heist on this one is gonna be sick.
Elon Musk’s Tesla compensation package will be voted on this week, as he could earn up to a TRILLION dollars for hitting key metrics. I’m with Billie Eilish on this issue. “Give away your money, shorties” is a mantra to live by.
Tomorrow is Election Day, with voting for key races, bills, and Steve Irwin’s son in DWTS happening across the country. Can we make this a national holiday please? Don’t really want to go to work.
MLB: Will Smith has won a World Series for the 6th time in a row, and the 4th time since he slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars. Excellence is earned, not given.
I will never forgive my parents for not naming me Will Smith. Legitimately the only thing that’s held me back from a HOF baseball career.
NFL: Sorry Rico Dowdle, but I’m gonna side with the NFL on this touchdown celebration. Two hip thrusts is basically a marathon sex session. Trust me.
This story about Cowboys coach Brian Schottenheimer dealing with an owl stuck in his house is legitimately hilarious. Incredible pic.
This Jayden Daniels injury is one of the worst I’ve seen. Why tf was he still in the game? Really hoping he cranks righty 🙏🏻
I want to make sure it does not get lost in the madness of the Bear’s comeback win over the Bengals (fire every defensive player) that Ben Johnson is a sicko for this play and this play. Backyard football type shit.
The fact that this play ended in a game winning touchdown is just insane
NCAAF: Love that we live in a world where the news of Hugh Freeze’s firing from Auburn was broken by a guy on Twitter who noticed Freeze cancelled his tee time. No journalist can ever compete with an obsessed SEC fan.
SNAP is shut down but at least you can get free food at the Coastal Carolina game.
I totally get where Dabo is coming from with this sideline crash-out during Clemson’s loss to Duke this week. Had to do that many times as a head coach myself in NCAA ‘25 (I can motivate electronic players like you wouldn’t believe.)
NBA: Austin Reaves just became the first person in NBA history to throw a lob to a father and a son. Records are being set that have never been even considered before.
NHL: I’m still trying to figure out how Yamamoto threw 96 pitches in Game 6, closed out Game 7 and then flew to Utah to score a goal in a hockey game the next day. Incredible.
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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
A rare frog was discovered in Canada with eyes inside its mouth. Imagine being able to watch what you eat, literally? Some guys have all the luck.
“Hey buddy, my eyes are in here.”
Tom Cruise and Ana De Armas have reportedly broken up and I’m deeply torn. Ana has obviously been DMing me like crazy, but Tom and I are boys. Not sure I could do that to him. Anyone got advice?
Sorry Ana, but I just can’t. Tom is my boy
An unknown object mysteriously crashed in Area 51 just two weeks ago, which the military has reportedly been trying to cover up. Coincidence that this lined up with the Wemby’s historic start to the NBA season? I think not.
I mean that’s crazy
Who's Having the Best Monday?
MONDAY MOVE
Love this. Personally, I’d also advocate for a bye week from life in general. Everyone needs some time to hit the reset button, catch up on some sleep, go back and study tape from the year. Let’s get the ball rolling on that one once you’re back in session, government.
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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY
Could humanoid robots actually CREATE jobs? If you’re a dude named Angelo, then yes.
Read this on your lunch break: The Fantasy of Assassination Culture in America.
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Bob Cousy was the original bag-haver in the NBA. He’d be Payton Pritchard in today’s game, but still impressive work.
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Shitty Life. Helpful read for everyone on this email list.
Stolen Valor makes me sick to my absolute stomach. Some things are sacred.
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