It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to know to sound smart.

  1. Zootopia 2 sets records at the box office, bringing home $556M globally, the highest EVER for an animated film. No actress can carry a franchise like Judy Hopps. She should be the next face of American Eagle jeans.

  2. Lane Kiffin takes LSU job day after chewing out a student reporter who called him a ‘ho,’ leaves Ole Miss without a coach before their CFP playoff run (the fans seem to be taking it well.) The Lord works in mysterious ways.

  3. Guy Fieri ‘ripped his quad in halffollowing an on-set injury, is now wheelchair bound (Flavortown better be ADA compliant.) That’s some real-life meat-falling-off-the-bone tenderness. Way to practice what you preach.

  4. Heavy snow predicted in Northeast and Midwest today, as 12k+ flights were delayed or cancelled yesterday at the peak of post-Thanksgiving travel. Maybe if everyone had worn a suit and tie, we wouldn’t have these issues.

  5. Shopify outage on Cyber Monday threatens the day of savings for thousands of online stores. Honestly, it’s for the best. I’ve been getting served ads for these practice lips for like 2 years and was about to drop $70 on it.

It’s the week after Thanksgiving, which means it’s officially time to check out until 2026. To celebrating, we’re breaking out our world famous Mailbag. You ask us question, we answer them and fix your life. Catch up on our previous versions here for a vibe.

NFL: Can’t believe Jets LB Marcelino McCrary-Ball captured my go-to sex move with such elegance and grace. He must have a camera in my bedroom (totally fine with this, just ask next time sir.)

After a few Coors Lights, she’s getting the fish mode. Lucky lady

If you count his 4 INTs (this one was special,) Vikings rookie QB Max Brosmer actually completed 76% of his passes. That’s a Pro-Bowl level performance.

Aaron Rodgers has done the impossible: ruined the Mike Tomlin locker room culture in Pittsburgh. A remarkable man.

Respect to Jaguars punter Logan Cooke for telling a Titans player that he was going to ‘kill him’ mid-play. If you want any respect as a punter, you gotta push the envelope.

We were truly blessed with two of the most insane catches of the year yesterday. I’m personally partial to the Puka Nacua catch, but Treylon Burks has a very good case.

NCAAF: If Lane Kiffin had any sense, he would’ve just held out to get fired like Mark Stoops at UK and get a $37M payout. Way less drama.

Ohio State finally beats Michigan after 2,191 days. Ryan Day is just 4 wins away from going a full year without people won’t threaten to murder his entire family.

I’m sorry to Aggies HC Mike Elko, but you can’t get mad at Texas celebrating after beating you. Just win the game brother.

NBA: How DARE LeBron laugh at Kleber’s missed layup?? He was clearly trying to score in an invisible hoop. You just don’t get how imagination works.

Joel Embiid makes his triumphant return to Philly, as the team loses in 2OT. Someone has to carry the load while Tyrese Maxey is training for his next dog show.

SHARE AND SAVE

Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See Terms and Conditions.

Account Overdrawn. The most chilling two words in the English language. Not only are you out of money but now you have to pay MORE money in fees? It’s a travesty. 

Luckily, Cash App is here to help. When you direct deposit at least $300 in paychecks each month, Cash App has your back with up to $200 in free overdraft coverage. Now that’s pretty good. 

PLUS for a limited time only, new Cash App customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real. Just download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code FRIDAY10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply.

*Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Kate Beckinsale said that her daughter’s boyfriend naturally laid two eggs, in what she calls the ‘bright spot’ of her past few months. Well yeah, have you seen egg prices these days?? I’d do anything to have a golden goose like that lying around.

This was a truly baffling anecdote. Like, she’s not kidding about it. I’m so confused. There’s like a 90% chance her daughter is just shovings eggs up this dude’s ass while he sleeps (lucky) but who knows.

Martha Stewart becomes new face of American Eagle and officially is more multi-faceted that Donald Glover and Troy Bolton combined. She’s done it all - SI cover girl, new face of jeans, prison for insider trading, baby-sat Yogi Berra’s kids in HS, etc.

I can’t decide if I want her to be my new grandma or new girlfriend. Only time will tell

A UC Berkley student who got thrown into a van by masked men and triggered a kidnapping alert on campusadmits that it was just a fantasy football punishment. Absolutely stealing that for next year. Almost as good as a bus ride to Cincinnati.

The winner should get to Liam Neeson in Taken the last place guy

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MONDAY MOVE

This is a professional, seasoned drinker’s move right here. Have no choice but to respect it. Personally wouldn’t rip this at a work party, but who am I to tell someone how to live their life?

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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

  • The twists and turns in the story of the former Olympic snowboarder turned drug lord turned jail husband Ryan Wedding just keep coming. PS - stop saying that I look like him like the comments here. He is at least 10x hotter than me.

  • Read this on your lunch break: Louis C.K.’s Next Chapter.

  • Still trying to wrap my head around why this kind of race was banned. This is huge exposure for the camel community.

  • 2025 was the Year of Bald. Finally.

  • I’m so embarrassed - had no idea that I accidentally posted this video of me singing perfectly. Why does this kind of thing always happen to me 🤦‍♂️

  • Can’t wait until Adrian Peterson’s son gets drafted by the Jets in 9 years and leads us to our 8th Super Bowl Championship in a row

  • It’s Monday. Fuck it. Let’s bring back the first ever Almost Friday TV YouTube video: A Tortured Mind. A remarkable video.

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