The Daily Friday: Monday 2/10

It’s another week in paradise. Here’s everything you need to know to sound smart.

1. Newly discovered asteroid hurtling towards Earth is now twice as likely to hit us in 2032 as it was last week, jumping to a 2.2% likelihood. Exciting news, but still not gonna get my hopes up until we’re in the double digits.

2. Justin Trudeau caught on hot mic telling business leader that Trump’s talk of making Canada a 51st state is “a real thing.” That’d be so insane. Imagine finally having Michael Cera as a countryman? Dreams do come true.

3. Mavs and Lakers trade is already looking like a disaster, as Anthony Davis gets hurt and feared to be out for multiple weeks. Time to beef up the security at Dallas GM Nico Harrison’s house. Could get ugly.

4. PlayStation online was down for 24 hours from Friday to Saturday evening, before eventually being restored. Thank god. Another 24 more hours and I would have had to consider speaking to a woman.

5. Eagles dominate the Chiefs, ending the Chiefs’ 3-peat dreams. LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.

SUPER BOWL RECAP

In case you were living under a rock, you know the Eagles won last night (shoutout Jalen Hurts, Cooper DeJean and whoever stole Patrick Mahomes powers.)

The game was boring as fuck, so let’s break down everything else that happened.

• DEVELOPING STORY: Anne Hathaway is my currently in the running for my dream woman. More details as they emerge.

• Maybe it’s just because commercials are kinda funny / insane every day of the year now but Super Bowl commercials just don’t hit the same. Excluding the Yeezy ad of course. Truly haunting and foreboding vibes there.

• Snoop Dogg’s TV set up simply cannot be real. Feels like Michael Scott’s condo. Did the ‘stop being mean’ commercial he did with Brady not pay him enough to upgrade or at least mount that on a wall? Have some pride.

• Trump got so bored at the game that he decided to get rid of the penny. Kinda wish he chose to get rid of student loans or people listening to YouTube videos in public on full volume without headphones in. Maybe next year.

• I don’t fully get why Taylor Swift was booed (and neither did she) but I’ll support it. Kinda just want to see the world burn, tbh.

• Some people were pissed (exactly who you’d think), but I thought the Kendrick halftime show was fine. Personally, would’ve preferred the 1958 Super Bowl halftime show and/or being able to hear the words, but it is what is. Unless there’s a nip slip, the halftime show’s always kinda boring anyways.

• Tom Brady was kinda mid as an announcer, though he did rock a $740k watch. So basically 1/10 of how much his face costs? Burn bitch. You look like the Saw puppet guy.

• Thanks Eagle. Our stock market is completely fucked now. Time to triple down on the American lady who refuses to leave Pakistan’s cryptocurrency.

SIZE MATTERS***

You shouldn’t let being broke get in the way of being awesome.

That’s why Riki invented their Tall Boys. 3 shots for $4. That’s 6 shots for $8. Hell, even 9 shots for $12 if you’re really loaded (ok Elon Musk over here.) Not a math guy, but that’s a pretty damn good deal.

Treat yourself to an entire night of fun without overdrafting your checking account. With Riki Tall boys.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

This week in wholesome: 85 year old man named Doug invites all his neighbors to ‘winter party’ on February 15th that goes from 4 pm until “the cops arrive.” Absolutely will be there to teach Doug what a Chilly Willy is. You’re welcome King 🙏🏻🙏🏻

NBA reporter Shams Charania averaged nearly 21 hours of screen time a day during the trade deadline. Just an insane amount of work for breaking news like 3 minutes before the entire world knows about it. Honestly, can’t think of a worse profession.

Hawk Tuah girl has officially woken up from a 2 month nap, records new podcast with Faze Banks and (kind of?) addresses the crypto controversy. At least we’ll finally get more episodes of Talking Tawk Tuah. It’s the little things.

MONDAY MOVE

Sending an evaluation survey to a girl after you break up to get raw, unfiltered feedback? Always the move.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Playdate Pod’s ways to tell someone you’re taking a deuce is 10/10. Clock in at the fudge factory is absolutely going into my vocabulary.

• Read this on your lunch break: A Shirley Temple Hates to See Him Coming.

• Good lord, WWE’s Randy Orton was an absolute mad man. Either the best or worst hang of all time, no middle ground.

• The man who invented all the minor consumer holidays (shoutout National Sword Swallower Day) has a method to his madness.

• Solid breakdown of how Bobbi Antinoff lost her entire audience in a year. Losing your family to become a D-list celebrity is always the move.

• Monday Motivation: no matter what you do today, try to bring as much excellence as this lawn bowler did to this lawn bowl. Personally, that’s a top 5 lawn bowl of all time and I won’t hear any arguments otherwise.