The Daily Friday: Monday 2/23

It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to know to sound smart.

What am I going to do with myself now? After 2 beautiful weeks of greatness, the Winter Olympics have come to a close and I have genuinely no idea what to put on the TV in the background while I pretend to work from my couch all day. At least the merch is sick.

While the Olympics had some exceptional athletic moments, there’s one thing it over-delivered on: drama, human intrigue, and incredible headlines. There’s nothing we appreciate at Daily Friday HQ more than a good headline. Here were some of our favorites.

French bi-athlete guilty of credit card fraud wins Olympic gold while teammate she scammed comes in 8th. Life lesson; always be frauding, never be frauded. Identity theft is totally fine if you are good at skiing and shooting at the same time.

Penis-gate at the Olympics: why inject acid into your penis and what are the health risks? It’s crazy to see my Google search history become a headline like this.

‘I just needed some time for myself’: Norwegian skier hides in woods after slalom gold heartache. Extremely relatable moment here. I hope to never experience slalom gold heartache in my life.

Olympic Villages runs out of condoms in 2026 games due to a “Higher-than-Anticipated Demand.” With 10k condoms used across 2,800 athletes in 3 days, that’s roughly equal to 2 condoms per day. The human body is not capable of having sex more than 2x a year. The math is not adding up.

Spanish skater says it’s ‘amazing’ to bring Minion music to Olympic ice after copyright dispute. It is amazing. If the only thing that came of the Olympic is more people are aware of how awesome the Minions song is, then it’s a successful event.

Norwegian biathlete who admitted to cheating on girlfriend in TV interview wins 5th medal. Nothing motivates a man like a heartbreak. Even if it’s self-inflicted and all your efforts to fix it actually make things worse.

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Respect the hell out of this 13 year old kid Sullivan Clark who got his neck slashed by a robber but still stayed hard as hell during the interview. You’re gonna be on national TV. Might as well take that opportunity to looks-max and aura-farm.

Love to see Austin Butler and Matthew McConaughey have a close-talk off in public like this. It’s like seeing two lions in the wild, sizing each other up. Can’t tell if they’re gonna kiss, fight, or merge into one being.

You know you’re getting old when you see a guy tear his ACL playing poker and can 100% picture a world where this happens to you. Can’t believe he played through this.

I feel bad that Alexandra Daddario left her husband so we could be together. Like many women, she finds my 620 credit score incredibly attractive, but I just can’t settle down right now. I hope she finds whatever it is she’s looking for, but it ain’t me.

Editor’s Note: This is new weekly guest segment from our good friend at Read That Again, the Entrapranure newsletter, covering the biggest finance news of the week in a way that only they can. ENJOY.

Salutations, FBI informants. The Federal Booby Inspectors Bureau of Investigation issued a warning that ATM ‘jackpotting’ scams are on the rise.

Banks lost over $20M in cash last year alone due to 1,900 cases of this scheme. Just in case your personal crime liaison hasn’t kept you updated on ATM theft, ‘jackpotting’ is the blue-collar criminal art of removing an ATM’s face, then uploading malware to make the machine spit out cash. (And that’s not all that spits, ask my 3 ex-wives.)

While I haven’t committed bank theft or ATM fraud in over two weeks (my AI-powered lawyer says this is past the statute of limitations), when I was building my net girth, I took the opposite approach.

In my day, we called it pot-jacking, and it was where you would gather with your richest friends, place a pot on the ground, and stand around it in a circle while...

Well, anyway, we used to film the ritual for max future blackmail (networking) opportunities.

Remember, find rich friends who will keep you accountable forever through self hostage situations. Oh, and make sure you always Read That Again each Tuesday for business advice fit for a gooning god.