The Daily Friday: Wednesday 1/29

1. Google Maps says it will change Gulf of Mexico to Gulf of America, as well as change back Mount Denali to Mount McKinley. Personally think this is a better name, but what do I know?

2. Jake and Logan Paul tease HBO Max boxing event, that is reportedly not a match between them, but a reality show. Bit of a let-down, but it makes sense. You can’t fix a fight both ways.

3. White House says that the drones flying over NJ were ‘not the enemy.’ So they’re friendly hostile aliens who are here to harvest our bodies for space sex stuff? That’s exactly what they’d want you to think. Sheeple.

4. Today begin the Chinese Year of the Snake, which is all about ‘letting go’ - of toxic friendships, anger and love lost. Sounds dumb. Life is about holding on to resentment forever and never making any personal changes. Capesh?

5. Justin Baldoni releases voice memo he sent to Blake Lively after her texts were leaked and she was criticized for burping and farting on set during Gossip Girl. Got it? Me neither, but read up in case you speak to a woman today.

PS - LAST chance to ask us questions for Friday’s mailbag. Please and thank you. Love you guys.

NCAAB: Never going to see more towels on one court than after this Duke player blew chunks mid-game. Did he eat an entire chicken pot pie before the game or something?

Conor McGregor leading the student section at a BYU game is exactly par for the course in 2025 so far. Mad-Libs of a year.

Omaha just dropped my favorite promotion of the year: bring your own garbage can to fill up with popcorn. Anyone who can eat 5 gallons of popcorn and live to tell the tale deserves a full ride.

This Caleb Love shot was absurd. How is he still in college btw? Do we have a Perry Ellis at Kansas situation on our hands?

NHL: No idea how Bedard got this to go in. Not a math guy, but that angle feels illegal.

NFL: I’ve been saying Duvalll 100x a day since this clip from Liam Coen’s press conference dropped

BASEBALL: This is one of the best home run trots I’ve seen in a long time. Haven’t seen an electric finish like that since Friday Beers won our softball league.

LET’S LUCY

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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

New money saving hack: give birth at a Krispy Kreme like this lovely lady and get free donuts for a year and birthday parties for the rest of your kids’ childhood.

Man who only ate cheese, beef and butter sticks for 8 months began secreting yellow shit from his hands. Could’ve told you that would happen. Checks out.

Costa Rican kingpin on the run from authorities was found in the UK after his wife posted vacation photos and added a location on Instagram. How many likes would those pics have to get to make it worth it? I’d say 50k and it’s a fair trade off.

Heartwarming: a drone and a robot dog fought each other in China. Maybe we won’t have to fight the machines after all and they’ll just do it for us? That’d rock.

RUSTY FLIES A PLANE

Might’ve been the best How Cool vlog so far. Bravo Rusty.

ROGUE ANIMAL OF THE WEEK

Congratulations to today’s Rogue Animal of the Week, the rats of Houston who ate their way through an entire evidence room of magic mushrooms and seized marijuana. I’m no detective, but the main rat ringleader here is pretty obvious: Remy from Ratatouille. Let’s break down the evidence against him.

1. He’s a chef. Anyone who’s worked at a restaurant knows all cooks are addicted to weed and also small time drug dealers. He probably got hooked on the ganj and decided he’d stop at nothing to get his fix. Seen it 100 times.

2. He’s a leader of rats. It became VERY clear in the stirring Act 3 climax when Remy helped teach his family the power of following your heart that this is a rat that other rats will follow into battle. It would not shock me to learn he went full Danny Ocean mode and organized his crew to pull of the heist.

3. He’s capable of complex thought and emotion: The dude manipulated a man like a marionnette, became a world class chef, and impressed a super mean food critic. All while staying true to himself. Yeah….I think he can break into a police station!

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• All ya’ll hobby horse haters been realllll quiet since this one dropped. Typical.

• Read this on your lunch break: How Random is Spotify’s Shuffle Really?

• Fuck it, Adam Sandler basketball highlights. Just because you’ve all been good this week. You deserve it.

• An exploration of why every TV sitcom character in the ‘90s was an orphan.

• The Forgotten History of the NBA Player-Coach is a very solid read. Bring this back please. Need LaMelo Ball drawing up isos like I need to breathe.

• Top 10 Most Underrated Beers is perfect. No notes. #7 goes so hard.

• It’s Wednesday. Let’s crank the 2003 NBA Live soundtrack and get to the second half of the week. We’re almost there boys.