MLB Wild Card reaches elimination day, as tense matchups leave the Yankees, Padres, Guardians and Reds on the brink. Is there anything better than October baseball? Not gonna do a lick of work today.
Government shuts down as Congress fails to reach deal. Essential services will stay open, non-essential ones will shut down & 750k+ workers furloughed. At least we made it to the end of Fat Bear Week in time. Congrats Chunk.
Founder of financial aid startup Frank sentenced to 7 years in prison after defrauding investors and lying about having 4M users (they only had 300k.) Another 30 under 30 member bites the dust. This is the new Madden Curse.
China opens the world’s tallest bridge, that hangs 2,050 above the Beipan River. Perfect height to jump off if my friends are also doing it. Sorry parents.
OpenAI launches Sora app, a Tik-Tok competitor that consists of AI-generated videos. Glad that our brightest minds and majority of the resources in the world are devoted to making this stuff. Good sign for the world.
AI ACTRESSES ARE COMING FOR US ALL
Hollywood’s latest star? Tilly Norwood, the AI actress who is reportedly ‘getting major looks’ from talent agencies to star in upcoming films and TV shows. I’m not buying it.
This feels like they just mashed up every college freshman’s face and made one person
Let’s put aside the fact that she’s obviously not a good actress to begin with. Skill and talent don’t really matter - how else do you explain the careers of J-Lo and Gal Gadot? No, the real skill in being an actress is everything that comes outside of the set itself.
Dating Pete Davidson. Doing bath water soap brand deals. Storming off the set. Press tours that snowball because everyone realizes you and your co-star are probably sleeping together. The same goes for actors too. Sure, Chalamet has talent but he didn’t become the GOAT until he showed he had elite ball knowledge.
Until AI can replicate that, our hot people are safe from having their jobs taken. One piece of advice though: please stop getting the New Face Surgery (looking at you Emma Stone.) You can’t beat the AI actresses if you look like one.
Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See Terms and Conditions.
Account Overdrawn. The most chilling two words in the English language. Not only are you out of money but now you have to pay MORE money in fees? It’s a travesty.
Luckily, Cash App is here to help. When you direct deposit at least $300 in paychecks each month, Cash App has your back with up to $200 in free overdraft coverage. Now that’s pretty good.
You know what’s really good? Everything else they have to offer. Security features. A card with tons of perks like exclusive early access to concert presales and discounts on every day purchases. All the bells and whistles.
PLUS for a limited time only, new Cash App customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real. Just download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code FRIDAY10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply.
*Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.
WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
Inspired by Kanye’s list of people who have betrayed him, it’s time to release my own list. The only member on it? The guy at Jersey Mike’s who calls me ‘boss’ every day, which I thought was a pet name until I heard him call another guy the same thing.
Include Curious George on the same list as Adolf Hitler, your daughter and Harriet Tubman is all time Kanye move.
Gotta respect the hustle from the lady who charges rich people $30k to name their babies. I wonder if she gives refunds if the kids decide to go by a nickname. Elon Musk should start doing the same as a side hustle.
Elon’s kids are named as follows: Nevada, Griffin, Vivian, Kai, Saxon, Damian, X Æ A-Xii, Azure, Strider, Exa Dark Sideræl, Techno Mechanicus, Seldon Lycurgus, Arcadia and Romulus. Whate
An American cheeseburger has won World’s Best Cheeseburger for the first time in history. Suck it France. First we took Wemby, now we’re dominating cheeseburgers: we’re stealing surrendering wars and having poop protests next.
We already made an even cooler Eiffel Tower, you guys are so fucked
Lotta love for this California woman bought 12 billboards and launches a website MarryLisa.com to help her find her new husband. Love doesn’t find you. You find it.
still doesn’t top this billboard, but what will?
Who is Today's Hump Day Hero?
HUMP DAY HIPPO
The calendar has shifted to October 1st and this is the vibe the rest of the month. Just getting fat as fuck, lying around public parks, and hibernating until the spring.
I want to be the bigger man and say congrats again to Chunk, the winner of Fat Bear Week. Anyone with a brain and air in the lungs knows that we really should be doing a national Fat Hippo Week (if not a Fat Hippo Fortnite) but I’m not going to blame the bears for that. Let’s not let the media come between us like that. If we turn on each other now, we’re no better than them. Namaste.
STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY
Read this on your lunch break: The Guy Who Invented the World Wide Web Wants to Save It.
‘The Summer I Turned 27’ is a masterpiece. Felt this one in my soul.
Suzy Welch asks the question on everyone’s minds: Is Gen Z Actually Unemployable? Good read.
Mat McCusker’s comedy special is dropping on October 7th on Netflix and directed by the one and only Tyler Falbo (genius behind AFTV.) Looks electric.
It’s Hump Day. Fuck it. 5 minutes of Brady to Moss All 22 from the 07 season. For real ball-knowers.
Like our newsletter? You’ll love our podcast. Episodes out every Friday, wherever you get your podcasts.
How Friday Was Today's Post?
