The Daily Friday: Wednesday 11/13

1. People’s Sexiest Man Alive awarded to John Krasinski, marking the 20th consecutive year that Beans from Even Stevens has been snubbed. Yet another reason to distrust the mainstream media.

2. Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy will co-lead Trump’s new ‘Department of Government Efficiency,’ or DOGE for short. Nothing more efficient than two people doing one job. Melania better watch her back.

3. Costco forced to recall 80,000 pounds of butter for missing ‘Contains Milk’ statement. Sorry Big Justice, but someone needs to pay for this and it’s not gonna be the Rizzler. They expect one of us in the wreckage.

4. Spirit Airlines considering bankruptcy after proposed merger with Frontier falls apart. Really hoping they have a going out of business sale. I’d love to fly to Vegas for the Ultimate Dick Kicking Championship but flights are tough rn.

5. Bears fire OC Shane Waldron after just 10 months and 23 straight drives without a touchdown. Fun fact: two OCs have been fired this season and they both worked for the Bears in the past two years. Tight ship over there.

NFL: Life lesson: never bet against a coach who takes pregame warmups as seriously as Jim Harbaugh does.

Count it: Pat McAfee and Aaron Rodgers both get duped by made up fan stat on Twitter. That’s a W for the people.

Tyreek Hill may have to miss a game after his botched TD celebration with Odell, but it’s still not the worst TD celebration of all time (shoutout Gus Ferotte.)

NBA: Heat lose after disastrous final possession, that ends with 6 men on the floor and Spo calling a timeout he didn’t have. Jalen Rose was court-side and reacted like a veteran during 4th of July fireworks.

Of all his accomplishments in life (6 titles with the Bulls, being married to Michael Jordan’s son’s current wife, etc.) nothing will top Scottie Pippen’s Bitcoin analysis.

CBB: Cooper Flagg dominates for most of the game, but falls apart down the stretch as Duke loses to Kentucky. Why does everyone on their team keep cramping btw? Have a glass of water boys.

NHL: Don’t look now but the Jets are an absolute wagon, becoming the first team to win 15 of their first 16 games in NHL history. I’m sure this won’t end in heartbreaking fashion come playoff time.

WNBA: RELATABLE: Caitlin Clark smokes her first drive at charity golfing event into an entire crowd of spectators. We have so much in common it’s crazyyyy.

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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

New way to get 10k steps just dropped: Chinese shopping mall features live mannequins (aka real human models) who walk on treadmills in stores.

Heart-Warming: Mike Tyson takes photograph with man that he robbed as a child. Pretty jealous of this guy. I would bring that story up CONSTANTLY.

Mathematician concludes years-long research study, claims to have found formula for ‘perfect’ female body. Waste of time. Watch The Incredibles and you’ll get your answer.

Megan Fox announces her pregnancy with Machine Gun Kelly. She should let the child use her last name and name it ‘Fantastic Mr.’ Much cooler than Machine Gun Kelly II.

HUMP DAY HIPPO

Today’s entry: Happy Hippo Hug

Permission to be vulnerable for a quick second? I crave this kind of kinship with my boys but I have no clue how to ask for it. And I have a sneaking suspicion I’m not alone.

When’s the last time you and the crew all had a massive snuggle pile, while you rested your big chins on each other’s backs and dozed off in a contented haze? I’m gonna guess it’s been at least a quarter, if not years. Look at the smiles on these hippo faces. That’s the look of someone who feels truly safe, seen and supported by their squad.

What’s stopping us from feeling like that? From invited the fellas over, moving the sleeping bags into the living room, popping on some college ball or a Harry Potter marathon (tis the season) and just soaking in the moment? Is it society? The rise in cost of living that makes it impossible to afford apartments with living rooms? “Women”?

No more excuses. I’m texting the fellas for a group sleepover this weekend. It’s time.

RUSTY GOES GATOR HUNTING

Nothing like a little swamp to table.

The gang took a road trip down to our editor Tanner’s backyard to see if Rusty has what it takes to take down an alligator. Must watch episode.

HUMP DAY HERO

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Anyone watched the Martha Stewart doc on Netflix? This lady is 100% my type. She definitely missed her calling as a relationship podcast host.

• Read this on your lunch break: 50 years in streaking.

• From now on, I’m only getting life advice via Real Playa Moves from this guy on Tik-Tok. This move in particular changed my life forever.

• The dude you can hire to chew out your boss has the most innovative business I’ve seen in years. I actually like my job and still wanna hire him, just for the chaos.

• RIP to Lloyd: where did all the Hollywood assistants go?

• This is one of the most mind-blowing threads I’ve read. It turns out that heart tissue cells have incredible memories, even when transplanted to new patients. It can change your appetite, make you scared of water and even less racist.

• It’s Hump Day. Go hop on this site that lets you connect any two people in history (turns out Kid Rock is a key link in the Dwayne Johnson - MLK Jr. connection?) and run out the clock on the day. The weekend awaits.