The Daily Friday: Wednesday 4/30

1. Power restored in Spain and Portugal after massive outage left everyone without electricity for hours. Oh sooo sorry it interrupted your siestas. Did you have to go outside and enjoy your perfect weather??? (Completely kidding. If I had no power for more than 20 minutes I’d go ballistic. What do you even do?)

2. UNC is reportedly growing concerned about Bill Belichick and his girlfriend’s influence, as reports come out that the interview was even worse than published. I say we ask their photographer what he thinks. Solid guy.

3. Busy week for Jeff Bezos, as Amazon announces its first Internet satellite project, he gets a scolding from Trump about showing how tariffs will cost customers, and he takes in a set at Stagecoach. Billionaires are just like us.

4. NFL fines Jeff Ulbrich $100k and the Falcons $250k following Shedeur Sanders prank call. Gotta be the most expensive prank call since this DJ posed as a doctor, convinced a woman to cut off her nipples, and got 20 years in jail.

5. The Chatbot wars heat up, as OpenAI announces they will create new shopping feature in ChatGPT on the same day that Meta launches new app with standalone AI assistant. You’ll both never be SmarterChild, so stop trying.

KOOL-AID MAN CHALLENGE

The kids might just be all right.

Move over Ice Bucket Challenge - the latest viral craze sweeping the nation is the Kool-Aid-Man Challenge, which involves teenagers running full speed into fences and leaving holes like, well the Kool Aid man. At least they’re playing outside.

Now, there is a chance this is viral marketing for The Studio or perhaps an explanation for what happened to the kids in Weapons, but it doesn’t really matter. This is hilarious and we need more of it. 5 CHALLENGES WE NEED NEXT.

Platform 9 ¾ Challenge: Very simple. Just get yourself a luggage trolley, stack it up with suitcases and an owl cage, and run full speed into a brick wall. Honestly surprised that this doesn’t already exist and the Paul brothers haven’t vlogged about it.

Dead Poet’s Society challenge: essentially just involves recreating the chair standing scene in the middle of something super important like the SATs or a fire drill. Hopefully it doesn’t end like the SNL sketch, but that’s a chance you have to take.

Rocky IV challenge: with this classic being released to theaters nationwide for its 40th anniversary, it’s time to harness the Minecraft chicken jockey energy towards an all-time classic. During this iconic training montage, everyone whip out your axes and start hacking away at the chairs like Rocky going to town on that Russian tree.

Brokeback Mountain is also getting a re-release if anyone wants to get that one going. To each their own.

Meghan Markle challenge: inspired by the latest interview from that hot lady from Suits, teens should create emails for their parents and email them what they did every single day. This will be helpful if they get dementia or AI consumes their flesh and absorbs their memories, whichever comes first.

Conclave Challenge: this could be a ton of fun. Dress up in robes, gather together, and vote on who of your crew will get to wear a Kentavius Caldwell-Pope jersey for the day. Get a crowd to gather outside and wait for black or white smoke and go nuts when it’s announced. This plays.

NBA: The NBA has a new beef: Giannis vs. Tyrese Haliburton’s dad. They need a lesson from Brook Lopez and the Pacer’s mascot Boomer. Sportsmanship triumphs.

Here’s a slightly less surprising beef: Jimmy Butler vs. Dillon Brooks. Two of the most reasonable, calm players we have in this beautiful league.

Wrapping up the rest of the playoffs: the MSG x Kith custom floor may have killed Jalen Brunson, the Heat are going to enjoy Galveston, and Jokic is absurd (even though he did get cooked by Ben Simmons.)

MLB: You may go another lifetime until seeing a catch like this from Daulton Varsho. Bro wants to be on the Savannah Bananas so badly.

This kid in the stands pitching alongside the Phillies closer warmed my heart. If I find out it’s viral marketing for a new Angels in the Outfield sequel, I’m gonna be pissed.

You’re not gonna have a more impressive defensive inning than the New York Mets did last night. Used up all their good plays for the next month or so.

Good for Kike Hernandez for rocking a helmet while subbing in to pitch. Safety first, always. Glue guy like you read about.

NHL: The Leafs are addicted to losing close-out games, fall to the Senators 4-0 to force a game 6. Get it together boys.

We got not one, but TWO OT finishes last night as the Knights take a 3-2 lead thanks to this Howden hammer and the Devils fall in 2 OT to end the series. At least they get to go home to God’s Country.

LET’S LUCY

Lucy is intelligent nicotine for adults, designed by scientists to deliver the most satisfying nicotine experience, and ALWAYS Tobacco Free. Whether you use nicotine to enhance focus, boost your energy, or relax: there’s a Lucy for you.

Personally, I like to go with the Wintergreen 6mg pouches. Nothing brings me greater peace in life than lying on the couch after a long day of working sorta hard, popping a couple in, and re-watching Always Sunny for the 200th time. It just soothes me.

Warning: this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Flight from CA to Germany turned around after someone’s iPad got stuck to a seat. Thank god. Imagine not being able to bet hockey on the Jersey Mike’s app or watch Young Sheldon at full volume with your headphones off for an entire flight? Poor guy.

Guy had to be rescued from Mt. Fuji twice in a week after he returned to the mountain for his lost phone. I get it. Snap streaks don’t come around often, you gotta keep those going while you can.

Doctors are raving about the benefits of ‘fart walks,’ which can prevent cancer. What about ‘fart stands’ that you take in a crowded elevator at your office building and then immediately push the emergency button to trap everyone inside? Any science on that?

Brawl on Carnival Cruise ends with 24 people placed on a ‘Do Not Sail’ list. Very jealous. I’m already on the Do Not Fly list and banned from Uber, but this would be a welcome addition. Anyone wanna book a cruise and help me complete the trifecta?

WILD WEST MAFIA

Chaotic showdown in the Wooden Pistol Saloon as the Friday Beers crew dives into a high-stakes game of Wild West Mafia! This isn’t your average Mafia game—new rules, big twists, and a serious cash prize are all on the table.

Go ahead and hammer that watch button right now. You’re welcome ❤️ 

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Pro-Tip: do NOT tell Liam you’re so hungry you could eat his 6th grade class president. He’s super busy with important work right now.

• Read this on your lunch break: Tiger Schulmann Didn’t Get to Be America’s #1 Karate Kingpin Without Busting a Few Faces.

• Anyone else fired the hell up about the new A24 movie with The Rock? Might actually get a good new sports movie.

• Mike Piazza is alive and well and living in Italy. Good! I’m glad for him.

• I’m very glad that Ben Affleck recognizes that his DVD commentary of Armaggedon is his greatest work ever. It truly is a masterpiece.

• Zuckerberg and Theo Von is a fascinating meeting of the minds. Totally normal guy, find a new slant.