Nepal protestors set fire to Parliament and forced the PM to step down during anti-corruption protests and a government ban of social media and messaging apps. Life lesson: do not fuck with Gen Z Nepali.
Kyle Schwarber jacks 50th HR, as MVP races heat across the MLB in the final weeks of the season. Ohtani’s still probably a lock, but I’m pulling for Raleigh to dethrone Judge. Justice for the big dumper community.
New Epstein evidence emerges, including a 50th birthday card drawing (this one was better) and signed novelty check from Trump, both of which he claims are fake. What a joke. Can’t wait to see the new spin on this one.
Rupert Murdoch ends years-long succession battle, as eldest son Lachlan gets control of media empires while the rest of his kids are forced to survive off a mere billion dollars. Fuck it, Kendall Roy highlights. Eldest boy supremacy.
Controversy emerges in the AP college rankings, as one voter ranks Florida HIGHER after their loss to USF and another moves Notre Dame from unranked to #8 after a bye week. Abolish this entire system please.
NEW APPLE JUST DROPPED
Apple announced a new line of product upgrades across their iPhone, watches, and AirPods that will be life-changing for anyone who wants to fork over a rent payment for thinner products with worse features. LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.
Finally, a phone skinny enough to hold in between my juicy ass-checks. The future is here.
A new iPhone Air that that is the skinniest version yet (the unrealistic body standards in today’s society are crazzzyyy.) Who cares that phone will die by noon and the camera sucks - at least it’s much easier to lose now.
An upgraded Apple Watch that has a bigger display and the ability to track your heart rate and blood pressure in real time. Mine is going to look like an amber alert during the next Jets game.
New AirPods that can translate other languages live while both users are wearing them. That’s actually pretty sick. Now I can tap in to my Uber drivers and finally understand what they’re saying on all these calls they take. Nice to finally be included in something.
I miss Steve Jobs. Apple used to be science fiction and now it’s just this shit.
SHARE AND SAVE
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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD
Gotta hand it to Raiders corner Lonnie Johnson. Wearing a full uniform while you’re on the IR to support your team from the couch is always be the move.
I have a nicer couch than an NFL player. Feels good.
Raymond Cruz, the actor who played Tuco in Breaking Bad, allegedly sprayed several women with a hose, for motives unknown. I love when art imitates life.
This is exactly something that Tuco would do. Completely perfect casting.
I’m not buying this iguana’s ‘virgin birth,’ which has been hailed as one of the rarest feats in the animal kingdom. Let’s check that zookeeper’s search history first.
Iguanas can be very sexy creatures. Let’s keep that in mind.
Justice for the man who was arrested for driving a child sized Barbie car without a license. His adult car was probably in the shop and he wanted to feel like a like a pretty little princess. That’s not a crime, that’s a way of life.
This actually looks so awesome.
A $1 million treasure hunt in now underway in the Canadian wilderness, as a treasure chest of gold coins is hidden with the first clue being released this week to the general public. This is the shit that rich people should be doing. I approve.
It sucks I can’t read otherwise I’d be all over this shit
Who is today's Hump Day Hero?
HISTORICAL PHOTO OF A PET HIPPO
I miss the good ol' days, when you could have a hippo just chill at your feet and hang out with no problems in the world. PETA wouldn't allow that kind of shit these days. Where did our country go?
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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY
Does Bill Belichick still have what it takes? A discussion with the one and only Liam Cullagh.
Read this on your lunch break: The Last Days of Social Media.
Another banger from Connor O’Malley has hit the timeline. God is good.
Could’ve seen this one coming: People really hate the new AI Friend Pendant.
I’m happy to live in a world where IRL Hot Wheels exists. Sometimes life isn’t so bad.
Turns out that your Zodiac sign may actually be wrong. Who cares? The only way to actually know who you are is Buzzfeed Harry Potter House Quizzes. Everyone knows that.
It’s Hump Day. Let’s crank a Norm McDonald best jokes compilation to take us into the better half of the week.
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