The Daily Friday: Friday 10/20

Everything you need to know to sound smart today.

1. US pledges $100 million package to Israel for humanitarian aid. That gets you 2.5 years of Fred Van-Fleet in the NBA. Very generous.

2. D-Backs walk it off in Arizona to make it a series, while Astros mash in Houston, tying ALCS up at 2 games apiece. LFG.

3. Sam Bankman-Fried, Britney Spears, and I finally have something in common: we fucking love Adderall and need it to function/party our dicks off.

4. Billionaire Peter Thiel was FBI informant in 2021, giving info about foreign contracts and ‘Silicon Valley intrigue.’ Honestly, I get it: I love sharing intrigue and hate prison. Go off king.

5. Legendary conman faked a heart attack 20 times to avoid paying the bill at restaurants. LET’S BREAK DOWN HIS HUSTLE.

THE DUKE OF DINE AND DASH

Rest easy Icarus. The greatest criminal mind of our time flew too close to the sun, finally jailed after faking a heart attack at 20 restaurants to avoid the bill.

The perpetrator, a 50-year-old Lithuanian named Aidas living in Alicante, Spain, gave a masterclass in commitment to craft over the course of a 2-month con scheme that will go down in the history books.

LET’S BREAK DOWN HIS HUSTLE.

• Every time he pulled the stunt, Aidas would wear fake designer clothes, pretend to be a Russian tourist who didn’t speak Spanish and order several glasses of the most expensive whiskey, Russian Salad and lobster. The man had a system and he stuck to it. That’s discipline.

• When the bill arrived, he’d theatrically fall to the ground, clutch his heart in agony and request to be taken to the hospital. This is how you know it happened in Europe, not America: the ambulance bill alone would have bankrupted him the first time he did this.

• He was well known in the Alicante restaurant community, as his picture was spread around by managers, but was only busted after he tried his act for a second time at the same spot. Little dumb, but sometimes you pull a heat check. Steph Curry gets to shoot from midcourt, why can’t Aidas?

• The real genius? The bills that he skipped were so small (ranging from 15 – 70 euros, which is European for dollars,) they never kept him in jail any of the four times he was arrested. When he did go to jail, it was because he didn’t pay the fees from the arrests. He’s still getting free food in jail, so I’d say that’s a win-win.

This man is a money-saving wizard and his budgeting hacks need to be taught in schools. Yesterday.

SPIRITS ARE LIT AF

Word to the wise, do not get in my way when I going full Spirits mode. Energized + Sexy + Tearful? Lethal combination.

I also enjoyed this chart on Beer vs. Coffee’s effects on your brain but it was too big to fit in the email. Once someone invents a Beer Coffee, we’ll be achieve final form and colonize Mars. No doubt about it.

NFL: Reallllyyyy tough drop by TE Foster Moreau to end the game for the Saints last night in front of ‘every man, woman, and child I’ve ever known.’

Taylor Swift’s best friend Brittany Mahomes’ husband will be the backup punter this weekend for KC.

The NFL is encouraging players to play in the Olympic Flag Football. Here’s who Glue Guy wants on the squad.

MLB: Weird play right here. Every Dad in America is shaking their head and saying, ‘see I told you that you don’t need that batting glove crap.’

Can we just take a second to appreciate this catch from Wednesday night? Absurd.

I don’t care if he cheated. Jose Altuve is absurd.

NBA: Wemby should not be allowed to play in the NBA anymore. Go back to your home planet.

Quiet-quitting king James Harden skips practice again for the 76ers. The guy they got to replace Ben Simmons becomes Ben Simmons. Poetic.

OTHER: What a shocker: the PGA-LIV merger is at risk as more players threaten to take Saudi money. Our breakdown of the LIV and Let Die book.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

The Rock is officially white, according to a wax museum in Paris. He looks like an ex-Marine who now podcasts about being a ‘high value man.’

UK boarding school appoints AI Robot as Headteacher. It’s crazy to see my ‘guy fucks robot to get out of detention’ porn search finally come to life.

Couple ignores emails from National Lottery for weeks, thinking they were spam, only to find out they won $120k. This is why you ALWAYS open emails, especially from a 3x a week daily newsletter courtesy of Friday Beers.

Kim Kardashian hires ‘Manny’ to take care of kids and provide positive male influence after Kanye divorce. Love the guy, but he seems under-qualified.

DR. LOCKS’ LOCKS

Our resident sharp Dr. Locks is back from a brief hiatus last week after singlehandedly bringing home a Phillies W at The Bank.

This weekend’s college football betting motto: keep it simple.

SEASON RECORD: 7-7-1

U 31.5, MINNESOTA/IOWA: How can you not take an under this low?

This is lowest point total line in college football in 20 years. For good reason. McNamara’s out for Iowa (as well as TE Ereck All) and Minnesota QB has yet to top 200 yards passing this year. They can’t make this number low enough.

USC -7: How can you not count on Caleb Williams bouncing back?

Utah’s a tough beat, but the Coliseum is gonna be rocking for the Trojans. Watch out for a monster game from the USC offense: Caleb wants that back-to-back Heisman bad.

MIAMI +3: How can you not back Miami with their backs against the wall?

If you got the juice, I’d sprinkle a little ML on this as well. They started off 4-0, now they’re 4-2: the Hurricanes need this W badly.

Live bet the action all weekend with BetMGM. Bet 10, get $200 with code BEERS200. Let’s ride.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• “Then the Alligators Got Him.” Good long read on Ja Morant’s troubles.

• Why the way we board planes is all wrong.

• We’re More Ghosts than People is one of the best essays I’ve read this year (shoutout Red Deadheads)

• Dante Hall is getting inducted into the Chiefs’ Ring of Honor. Enjoy 4 minutes of highlights from the greatest kick returner ever.

• Scorcese’s 81 greatest movie characters, ranked.

• I would love to get stuck on the end of an NBA bench with Jeff Teague.