The Daily Friday: Friday 6/7

1. Pat Sajak will give his final spin on Wheel of Fortune tonight before taking his talents to Hawaiian regional theater (seriously.) Here’s to 40 years of dirty puzzles. Legend.

2. FDA reverses marketing ban on Juuls, rescinds 2022 order to remove product from the market. Ripping Mango Juul pods to kick off White Boy Summer just feels right. Thank you, government.

3. Flying spiders are set to hit NYC and could overtake pockets of the East Coast. Cicadas, solar eclipses, earthquakes and now flying spiders. Bring on the frogs and rivers of blood. I’m ready.

4. SpaceX rocket completes first successful flight, surviving re-entry into the atmosphere. Good sign for me, who’s also praying for a successful re-entry tonight (into Sydney Sweeney’s DMs.)

5. Ray J changed the course of human history. LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.

But first, a quick announcement. Due to popular demand, we are bringing back the monthly mailbag NEXT FRIDAY. Get your questions in while you can (and check out May’s installment if you haven’t already.)

Submit your questions at the link below or just reply to this email directly.

RAY J SHAPED HUMANITY FOREVER

I agree with Ray J: his 2007 sex tape with Kim Kardashian was an inflection point that single-handedly changed the course of human history.

And while Ray J sees himself as an Oppenheimer type, his actions creating irreparable harm in our timeline, I don’t see it like that. Hear me out.

Sure, ever since that tape dropped, a lot of bad shit has happened. Drake and Josh was not renewed for a 5th season. COVID was invented by China/Dr. Fauci/Big Pharma/alien probes/all of the above. We learned who Kim Kardashian was.

But a lot of good shit came from that bad shit. WIth no Season 5 to worry about, Drake and Josh channeled their energy into a classic Christmas special. COVID led to Jeffrey Toobin cranking it on a Zoom call, which was awesome. Kim Kardashian’s fame led to the creation of SKIMS, which taught us that Nick Bosa has a hog on him.

Much like the shooting of Franz Ferdinand and 9/11, historians will point to the Ray J tape as the one that changed history forever. One day, your children will come home from school and ask you where you were on that fateful day and you must be prepared to answer.

Personally, I was at at the peak of my masturbation powers (14 years old.) When I finally got the link, I stayed home from school and gave the desktop computer in my parent’s basement more viruses than Wuhan. I’m excited to share that story with young Daily Friday Jr. (it’s a family name) one day.

THE PERFECT BIRTHDAY GIFT

Ever been invited to a one year old’s birthday and had no idea what to get them?

Whether it’s for your niece (gotta lock in the fun uncle spot,) your friend’s son (pretty sure he had it on purpose) or your boss’s fourth child (don’t worry, he can definitely afford it,) it can be tricky to find the perfect gift for any child up to 8 years old. 

Go for the ol’ reliable…a children’s book. It’s affordable, they’ll absolutely use it and it makes you look like you care about their education. Always a plus. 

Thats why you can’t go wrong with Where Do Ocean Creatures Sleep at Night. 

This book from Steven and Clifford Simmons will make you the hit of the party. Plus, today is World Ocean Day. What better way to celebrate the deep sea than by snagging one of these bad boys?

NBA: Celtics take Game 1 behind a monster game from Porzingis, who finally returned after missing 5 weeks with a calf strain. I’m sure Kyrie won’t regret this one come Sunday night.

Lakers reportedly set to meet with Danny Hurley today to offer massive deal to come coach and develop Bronny Jr. What an insane world we live in.

NHL: Puck drops Saturday for Game 1 of the Stanley Cup. I’m taking +150 odds on at least one Florida fan ripping off the Edmonton flasher.

When you don’t see Empty Netters collabing with the NHL for the Cup this year, this is why. Free the boys.

Massive news: makers of the F1 ‘Drive to Survive’ show are creating a season long NHL doc on Prime Video for next season. LFG.

MLB: Shohei hit a fucking bomb and even Paul Skenes had to admire it.

I’d love to live as Manny Machado. Paid millions of dollars to leave a game because you’re tired from running 90 feet. Dream job.

SOFTBALL: Oklahoma Sooners win their historic 4th straight national title, beating Texas in Game 2.

Congrats ladies. As the owner of my own college streak (11 consecutive days blacking out and falling asleep with Copenhagen Wintergreen long cut still in my mouth) I know how hard these are to pull off. Well deserved.

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Dr. Pepper surpasses Pepsi as the #2 soda in America behind Coca-Cola. Glad to see him finally put that medical degree to good use 🙏🏻

It’s makes me sad that recent college grads are bringing their parents to job interviews. Their parents should already be at the job interview as CEOs of the company. These kids are living in poverty.

It breaks my heart that my perfect, natural girlfriend can’t go to Disneyland without having people laugh at her body. What happened to this world?

NEW UPDATE ON JUDGE ZOOM CALL GUY. He never actually had a driver’s license in the first place, which explains the clerical error around his suspended license that he got busted for while driving on a Zoom. Got it?

DAVIS CLARK SUCKS DOWN $60 OF CHIPOTLE

Probably my favorite interview Willy has done in this series. Not only did it convince me that Davis is genuinely locked in 100% of the time, he also just seems like a very good dude.

Hell of a way to get yourself fired up for the weekend.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Spirit airlines flight attendants are getting their ass kicked these days. The Waffle House of the skies.

• Fuck it, 7 minute home run pimp job compilation. Just because.

• This scene from Clipped, the new series on the Clippers, really hammered home just how bad the casting was. Feels like a Hallmark movie. (Glue Guy had a good thread on the worst casts.)

• Read this on your lunch break: Absolute darkness and how disorienting it can truly be.

• We need more beer commercials like this banned Corona one.

• Need a final push at the office to get to the weekend? Throw on Big Desk Energy and knock that shit out ASAP. It’s a cheat code.