The Daily Friday: Monday 6/10

It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to sound smart today.

1. Scottie Scheffler wins Memorial, continues his streak of either winning a tournament, becoming a father or being arrested for a felony in 7 of the last 12 weeks. Icon.

2. Hunter Biden trial wraps up this week, as testimony reveals he’d play Fleet Foxes while getting lap dances and smoke crack immediately after waking up. Fuck an ice bath, this is my new morning routine.

3. European elections dominated by far-right, as France’s Macron calls for snap legislative election after loss.Anyone know how this will affect the Euros this year? Trying to get my bets in now.

4. Carlos Alcaraz wins French Open, becomes youngest player to win on all 3 surfaces while Iga Swiatek (23) wins 3rd straight title on woman’s side. These Challengers promos are getting really insane.

5. Caitlin Clark left off the Olympic team because she had too many fans or some stupid shit, immediately drops 30 points. Not an expert, but feel like that was a massive mistake.

Quick reminder that we are bringing back the monthly mailbag NEXT FRIDAY. Get your questions in while you can (and check out May’s installment if you haven’t already.)

Submit your questions at the link below or just reply to this email directly.

NBA: Celtics take 2-0 lead in Finals and it seems like the only person more afraid of a ring than Luka is James Harden.

Danny Hurley will decide today whether he wants $100 million to move to LA and keep coaching teenagers.

NHL: Panthers dominate in Game 1, as Sergei Bobrovsky blanks Edmonton with 32 saves in 3-0 win. Thank you for defending America.

Oilers will try to bounce back in Game 2 tonight before the series heads back to Edmonton, a city that McDavid absolutley loves. 

NFL: I’m starting to understand why Justin Jefferson agreed to stay in Minnesota. Placing a massive future on Sammy D and the boys this year.

Have to respect Browns RB John Kelly Jr., who heroically beat a 96 year old grandma out to first base in a charity softball game. Competitors compete.

CWS: Massive shoutout is in order to Clemson’s Cam Cannarella, who hit a game tying 3 run HR in the top of the 9th and then immediately saved the game in the bottom of the 9th with a Willie Mays’ catch.

MLB: Kike Hernandez gets mic’d up with the broadcast booth while playing 3rd base, immediately makes an error. Can’t believe this doesn’t happen more.

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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

A 4’3, 26 yr-old crossing guard was arrested for giving e-cigs and weed vapes to middle schoolers. If that’s a crime, then lock my step-uncle up now. It shouldn’t be illegal to have a side-hustle.

Phish fan who filmed himself smoking a bong inside the Sphere had his lifetime ban rescinded by the venue, which is fair. One bong hit still makes you the least high person at that show.

A man named Optimus Prime was arrested for stealing a car. What’s next, is a dude named Peter Pettigrew going to get busted for stealing rats?

MONDAY MOVE

One of my favorite voice-overs of all time. “If I saw this reaction as a child, I’d be distraught.” Absolutely integrating this move into my arsenal the next time my buddy brags about something lame.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Time to tip the cap to the Wallace and Gromit chase scene as the greatest cinematic action sequence in history. Respect.

• Anthony Bourdain convinced me: Waffle House is the perfect embodiment of everything good about America.

• Read this on your lunch break: Why is everyone on steroids now?

• Never forget Bobby Valentine getting thrown out of a Mets game and sneaking back in with a mustache and sunglasses. Legend.

• Got 25 minutes today? Enjoy Roger Federer’s commencement speech at Dartmouth.

• Here’s some Monday motivation from Cormac McCarthy. Let’s go.