The Daily Friday: Friday 9/20

1. Tupperware files for bankruptcy after 78 years of being in the red (literally.) Since when is this a brand and not the name of an item? What’s next, pots and pans go out of business?

2. 23andMe board steps down amid disagreement with CEO and pending $30 million data leak lawsuit. I really hope my DNA results weren’t part of that leak. That’s private.

3. Philadelphia man pleads guilty to making fake mass shooting threat after a disagreement in fantasy football, faces 5 years in jail. Depending on what the loser punishment is, I don’t blame him. If it’s this, then he did the right thing.

4. NC gubernatorial candidate allegedly commented on porn site calling himself a ‘black Nazi’ who wants to bring back slavery. Don’t care what he said: being a porn commenter should immediately disqualify you from any office.

5. Shohei Ohtani makes history with first ever 50 HR - 50 SB day. LET’S BREAK IT DOWN.

REMINDER: our September mailbag is dropping before the end of the month. Make sure you get your questions in (and check out last month’s edition) while you can.

SHOHEI GOES FOR 50-50

Shohei Ohtani had a night for the ages last night, becoming the first player to ever have 50 HRs and 50 SBs in a season (I think he can get 60-60.)

An incredible single season run from a confirmed alien. To celebrate, let’s break down some other impressive runs throughout history.

• Jim Carrey’s 1994: dude dropped The Mask, Ace Ventura, and Dumb and Dumber in one calendar year. All #1 at the box and all classics that hold up to this day.

• Papa John’s November 2019: ate 40 pizza in 30 days without saying the N word. Heroic performance. Might be up there for greatest 30 day stretch of all time, potentially . Thank you Desus.

• America, Summer of 69: we put a man on the moon (allegedly.) Woodstock. US begins troop withdrawl from Vietnam. People discover that 69 is a funny number. Brady Brunch premieres. This guy makes a song about all of it.

• Tyreek Hill fathering 3 children in 4 months: he cannot be covered, both on and off the field (talking about his penis folks.) Ghengis Khan performance.

• Baby oil in Diddy’s mansion: 1,000 bottles in one house is simply absurd. He may have been Johnson & Johnson’s #1 customer. This record will never be touched and it definitely shouldn’t.

• Wilt Chamberlain, 1961-1962: Not only did he average 50 points and 25 boards a game (!!) but he also played 48.5 mins a game. Yes, an NBA game is 48 minutes long. He sat down for 6 mins the entire SEASON and that was only because he fouled out. And he also had time to sleep with 1,000 women. Sounds incredibly exhausting.

• Michael Jackson, 1987: He released Bad, the first album to have 5 #1 hits, a record only touched by Katy Perry (respect.) His world tour began and tripled his previous record for consecutive sell outs. And he left Jehovah’s Witness, which is always a plus for anyone.

• Wayne Gretzky, 1985: 163 assists in a season. The closest person not named Wayne Gretzky is Mario Lemieux with 114. Untouchable.

Reply to this email and let us know what we missed. And be really mean about it.

THE DOC’S LOCKS

The good doctor, Dr. Locks, is here all season long to help you sweat through your bets. As always, we’ll be partnering with BetMGM, so make sure you sign up today using FBDAILY for up to $1500 in free bets.

Season Record: 5-3

Bowling Green @ #25 Texas A&M: Bowling Green +23.5

Bowling Green comes into College Station fresh off a bye and ready to stick it to an overhyped Aggies squad that shouldn’t be ranked. Bowling Green’s offense is explosive and should give A&M fits. They might win this one outright: 23.5 should be no sweat.

#13 Kansas State at BYU: BYU +6.5

Nothing like a late night Mormon underdog. It’s BYU’s biggest home game of the year and the place is gonna be upside down. Watch for Jake Ratlaff to have a big day and make this a tight one.

Buffalo at #23 Northern Illinois: Buffalo +14

Huge letdown spot for Northern Illinois, who has been riding the high of their Notre Dame win for 2 weeks, easily the biggest W in program history. Buffalo is a sneaky wagon and ready to draw blood in some Saturday MACtion. Book it.

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WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Chinese Zoo admits that their ‘pandas’ were just painted dogs. I don’t see a crime. I see a team of dreamers making the most of the tools at their disposal. It’s like I always say: the real pandas were the friend we made along the way.

Communication is a crime now? Japanese man arrested after calling his wife 100x a day after he saw her speak to another man. Honestly, feels a little low.

Man sick of bar patrons peeing in his driveway installs a sprinkler system booby trap to stop pissers. Props to him, but what a waste of a good public pee stop. Very hard to come by.

We have witnessed history folks: the first robot cop arrest in history. Imagine having to tell everyone in jail you got arrested by Wall-E.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLAYDATE POD

Very happy birthday to the lads at Playdate Pod, who are growing up right in front of our eyes. Here’s to 55 more pods.

This episode covers which Halloween costumes will be hot this year (loved the Hawk Tua one,) their favorite fall traditions and reminiscing on the Renaissance fair. Enjoy.

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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• Such a shameful act of stolen valor from this parking attendant. Share this to spread awareness 🙏🏻🙏🏻

• Read this on your lunch break: The Collapse of Self-Worth in the Digital Age.

• This video is cinema. Living the dream.

• The past, present, and future of Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi is a very solid read.

• I could watch Jon Gruden breaking down running back clips with dubstep overlays for hours. And I have.

• In the midst of all the Shohei celebration, just a gentle reminder that Rickey Henderson was insane.