THE DAILY FRIDAY AWARDS
We’re wrapping up the end of the year by celebrating all the things that made 2025 great. We’re rolling out the Daily Friday Awards through the end of the year (we’ll be adding to this as we go) and we hope you enjoy.
But first, really quickly….
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MOST IMPRESSIVE FEAT OF HUMAN ENDURANCE
The human body is capable of incredible things. Let’s give it up for our 5 nominees who pushed the limits of physical endurance this year.
This award should go to any Jets fan that still pays for season tickets but it wouldn’t be a fair competition.
Man Who Walked Around the Entire Globe: Karl Bushby left his home in England in 1989, began an un-broken walking path around the entire globe (no planes, trains, cars, or boats) and has now begun his final leg of the journey home. Incredible story.
Cory Booker’s 25 hour yap sesh: the man can yammer like Senor Schneef at afters. Easily the most impressive political performance since that Texas Congressman went on a 9 hour hunger and thirst strike (I can’t go 3 hours without jerking off and he lasts 3x that with no food or water? He probably skipped breakfast AND lunch. Kudos)
World Record Bar Crawl Man: Martin Perez attended 152 bars in 24 hours in Buenos Aires (loosely translates to Good Aires.) Even more impressive - he went to sleep after 100 bars, rallied & THEN finished the job. I’d love Willy and Rusty take this on next.
Bonnie Blue porking 1057 guys in 24 hours: let’s acknowledge that doing anything with 1,057 people in 24 hours is impressive. That’s 44 people/hour with NO breaks. If she shook hands with 1,057 people, I’d stand and cheer. Remarkable.
World’s Longest Continual Fart: a clip of a 40 second long continual fart from an unnamed gentleman with a bowl cut on a Spanish-language talent show is exactly what the Daily Friday is all about. I hope he does weddings 🙏🏻
WINNER (according to readers): Globe Walker, 30.4%
What Was Most Impressive Feat of Human Endurance?
“WORD OF THE YEAR” OF THE YEAR
Every year the dictionaries come out with their “Word of the Year,” but only one Word of the Year can be the true Word of the Year of the Year. Here are the nominees.
I know Billy Shakespeare is looking down at all of us with pride and joy for taking the English language and perfecting it even further. You’re welcome, champ.
“6-7”, Dictionary.com: more of a number than a word, but I get it. Anytime you get banned from In-N-Out and can create this level of excitement at a basketball game, you know you’ve made a cultural impact.
“Rage Bait,” Oxford Dictionary: making your “word of the year” a two word phrase is the definition of rage baiting. Well done, Oxford.
“Slop,” Merriam Webster: I miss the days when this word just mean fast-casual bowls of meat and rice for $14 instead of this kind of stuff.
“Parasocial,” Cambridge Dictionary: this describes a relationship with celebrities or AI that is entirely one-sided. Sorry, don’t get this one at all. My relationships with celebrities and my Snapchat gf is entirely two-sided and real.
“Performative,” The Daily Friday: this is my submission. Whether it’s the rise in ‘performative males’ or the Pope’s Letterbox’d top films, everything we do has been geared around the knowledge that there is an audience watching us (our 457 IG story viewers, our weird neighbor Mark, God, etc.) Such is life.
WINNER (according to readers): Rage Bait, 30.4%
What Was the Word of The Year of the Year
DF AWARDS PT 2: FULL PODCAST
Getting bored of reading? Try watching or listening instead. We broke all this shit down on the podcast with our friends Rusty, Billy, Bobby and Strider. Let’s fricking go.
MEME MOMENTS OF THE YEAR
We live in divided times. Republicans vs. Democrats. LeBron lovers vs. Jordan heads. Glovers vs. Sliders.
Sometimes the only thing in life that can bring us together - is a good viral meme moment. Here are the nominees for Meme Moments of the Year.
Did not include this gentleman because he was too powerful for his own good
Blue Origin Space Mission: led to my favorite tweet this year about Oprah’s definitely not girlfriend Gayle and also catapulted Katy Perry into an incredible year of memes that included her nearly dying and dating Fidel Castro’s son.
100 Men vs. 1 Gorilla: the viral debate that sparked 1,000 conversations and AI simulations, this took over the feed in ways I haven’t seen in a long time. This is the only real answer to how we could win, btw. Just a fact.
Coldplay Kiss Cam: this moment just won’t go away, as the HR lady is now doing some PR and getting the NYT think-piece treatment 5 months later.
Chicago Pope: this was a fun week on the Internet. JD Vance killed the old pope, then we got to talk about Conclave, then we found out the Pope was from Chicago AND a Villanova grad, just like the entire Knicks roster. Just good, wholesome, fun.
Montoya, Por Favor!!: here’s our explainer but this one was a WHIRLWIND of clips from Spanish Temptation Island, which included Montoya watching his girlfriend get the absolute beejeezus pounded out of her by another dude, get his own revenge, and also another contestant getting what only can be described as ‘aquatic head.’
WINNER (according to readers): Coldplay Kiss Cam 42.7%
What Was the Meme Moment of the Year
ROGUE ANIMALS OF THE YEAR
It is often said that humans are animals with credit scores and porn addictions. But what if animals…acted like humans? Here are our top Rogue Animals of the Year.
We will have a whole other category for Hippo of the Year, don’t worry
Houston Drug Rats: these rats got into a police evidence room and ate their way through pounds of magic mushrooms and seized marijuana. Ringleader’s gotta be Remy from Ratatouille. All cooks are addicted to weed and also small time drug dealers
Indonesian Sneaky Crocodiles: these little fuckers fake drowning so that humans will jump in the water to save them and then presumably eat them alive. Essentially the plot of It’s a Wonderful Life but much more sinister. This would work on me, not gonna lie.
Monkeys in Mississippi: a group of ‘aggressive’ and potentially ‘disease-ridden’ monkeys broke out of a lab and was on the loose in Mississippi. Wtf. My college buddies were hanging out in Mississippi and didn’t text me? Kinda pissed.
Daschund that roamed free: a mini-Daschund named Valerie survived 17+ months in the Australian wilderness after running away during a couple’s camping trip, and finally returned home. This will be a Pixar movie by 2027, mark my words.
Drunk raccoon in a liquor store: the patron saint of Daily Friday readers, this raccoon broke into a liquor store on Black Friday, drank multiple bottles of booze, smashed the place up and passed out in the bathroom. Been there, brother. He just gets it.
WINNER (according to readers): Drunk Raccoon (73%!!!)
Who Was the Rogue Animal of the Year
BEST MOVIE PRESS TOUR
There’s no business like show business. And the only way to stay IN business IN Show business is a good viral press tour. Here were our 5 favorite press tours this year.
Forcing us to spend a summer debating jeans vs. genes may have been the worst way to promote a movie ever (not your fault Ms. Sweeney, just saying.)
Timothee Chalamet’s Marty Supreme tour: Chalamet is on an all-time hot streak. The fake marketing Zoom call was a piece of art (also a big fan of this extremely fuckable popcorn bucket) but joining up with Druski was the pièce de résistance (French term that means like best idea ever or something.)
Pedro Pascal’s anxiety that lets him grope women. All-time spin zone from Pascal. The Coldplay kiss cam CEO should’ve whipped this one out and he might still have a job today.
Wicked’s everlasting press tour: it’s hard to keep track of these but yes, there was a new press tour this year with the two skinniest women in America. Big fan of Ariana Grande skipping interviews ‘out of solidarity’ with Cynthia Erivio, who lost her voice. Need to start pulling that move at the office.
Tom Cruise fucking loves movies: the entire Mission Impossible press tour centered around Tommy C’s pure, unadulterated joy around the movie experience. Popcorn shaming, iconic press tour quotes, inventing new pocorn eating methods. What else do you really need?
Ice Cube’s War of the Worlds being so bad you had to watch it: a 0% Rotten Tomatoes ranking is hard to do, but it does make you want to watch. I want to stress this might have been the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but I would absolutely watch again (full review here.) That’s saying something.
WINNER (according to readers): Pedro Pascal’s anxiety, 31.7%
Who Had the Best Press Tour This Year?
UNC OF THE YEAR
Unc is a term that means many things. Uncle. Slightly older person who is out of touch. A respected coworker whose experience you lean on. A mentor.
More than anything, being unc means coming to terms with your age and your status in life. It’s not about accepting your limitations. It’s about leaning on your strengths.
Here are our nominees for Unc of the Year…
Lifetime Achievement award goes to this gentleman.
40U Football Players - risking CTE for the love of the game is what it’s all about. Without this outlet men in their late 30s would have to direct their passion into brewing their own beer and trading crypto. A sinister thought.
Philip Rivers - returned to the NFL after 5 years, nearly led the Colts to a win, almost got up gracefully after falling down. Impressive as hell.
Joey Chestnut- reclaimed the Hot Dog eating contest award after a year of leaving it on the mantle. Fun Fact - he owns 55 (!!!) eating contest records. Dude makes Shohei Ohtani and Air Bud look like one dimensional athletes.
Chicago Pope - REMINDER: you can be Unc regardless of your age. He unfortunately lost the Pope of the Year award to Kentavious Caldwell Pope (providing meaningful minutes in year 13 while stretching the floor and guarding multiple positions is hard to do) so this would be a nice little win for him.
Ochocinco - for always continuing to grow in retirement and never letting the horny die. God bless this man.
WINNER (according to readers): Philip Rivers, 41.7%
Who Was The Unc of the Year?
DF AWARDS PT 1: FULL PODCAST
Getting bored of reading? Try watching or listening instead. We broke all this shit down on the podcast. Let’s fricking go.
BALD OF THE YEAR
Fuck going to Turkey for a hair refresh. This is the year that celebrities and society leaned in and decided to accept their flaws. To be brave. To be bold. To be bald.
The candidates for Bald Person of the Year are as follows….
Shave it off Johnny. It looks good.
Cynthia Erivio: for excellence in red carpet security
Pitbull: for excellence in spreading bald awareness to the haired community
Dwayne the Rock Johnson: for excellence in weight change and longest standing ovation.
Jeff Bezos: for his contributions to the space travel and meme community.
Vin Diesel: lifetime achievement award
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Jaylen Brown: just embrace the bald and shave it off, brother. Can’t be having this.
Bald Ann Dowd: excellent Twitter follow, not actually bald in real life. Maybe next year, toots.
Johnny Sins: lifetime achievement award
WINNER (according to readers): Cynthia Erivio, 29.6%
Who Was the Bald of the Year?
CURSED SNACK FOOD INNOVATION OF THE YEAR
Science is an incredible thing. When used in the right away, we can create technological marvels. The Internet. Hot Tubs. The everything bagel.
When used in the wrong way, we can create monstrosities that defy the limits of reason and common sense. Things like this year’s nominees for Cursed Snack Foods…
Let’s celebrate last year’s winner, the Will Levis Mayo Perfume. The perfect product
Frida’s Breast Milk ice cream: actually shocked that Sydney Sweeney didn’t endorse and promote this product this year. I know at least Homelander or Nathan Fielder would be lining up to purchase
Papa John Garlic Bath Bomb: the start to any perfect date night and the ONLY way to scientifically prove your lover is not a vampire. Throw 4-5 of these into a big bath with some pork loin, carrots, and onions, wait 6 hours, and you’ve got yourself a pot roast.
Heinz Ketchup smoothie: am I crazy in thinking that this might actually be good??
9 volt battery flavored chips: this was created by a Netherland company to ‘capitalize on nostalgia.’ Finally, someone is capturing the feeling of licking a battery and jolting your entire body with tingly metallic sensations. Why is no one else doing this?
Progresso Soup Drops: these are chicken-noodle soup flavored lozenges for cold and flu season. If they don’t collab with Bowling for Soup for a catchy and inspiring jingle by the end of the quarter, I’ve lost all faith in Big Soup’s marketing teams.
WINNER (according to readers): Breast Milk Ice Cream, 38.9%
What Was the Most Cursed Snack Food of 2025
Wayyyyy more awards to come. Stay tuned and enjoy our our world famous Horny Awards while you wait.