THE DAILY FRIDAY AWARDS
We’re wrapping up the end of the year by celebrating all the things that made 2025 great. We’re rolling out the Daily Friday Awards through the end of the year (we’ll be adding to this as we go) and we hope you enjoy.
But first, really quickly….
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BEST MOVIE PRESS TOUR
There’s no business like show business. And the only way to stay IN business IN Show business is a good viral press tour. Here were our 5 favorite press tours this year.
Forcing us to spend a summer debating jeans vs. genes may have been the worst way to promote a movie ever (not your fault Ms. Sweeney, just saying.)
Timothee Chalamet’s Marty Supreme tour: Chalamet is on an all-time hot streak. The fake marketing Zoom call was a piece of art (also a big fan of this extremely fuckable popcorn bucket) but joining up with Druski was the pièce de résistance (French term that means like best idea ever or something.)
Pedro Pascal’s anxiety that lets him grope women. All-time spin zone from Pascal. The Coldplay kiss cam CEO should’ve whipped this one out and he might still have a job today.
Wicked’s everlasting press tour: it’s hard to keep track of these but yes, there was a new press tour this year with the two skinniest women in America. Big fan of Ariana Grande skipping interviews ‘out of solidarity’ with Cynthia Erivio, who lost her voice. Need to start pulling that move at the office.
Tom Cruise fucking loves movies: the entire Mission Impossible press tour centered around Tommy C’s pure, unadulterated joy around the movie experience. Popcorn shaming, iconic press tour quotes, inventing new pocorn eating methods. What else do you really need?
Ice Cube’s War of the Worlds being so bad you had to watch it: a 0% Rotten Tomatoes ranking is hard to do, but it does make you want to watch. I want to stress this might have been the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but I would absolutely watch again (full review here.) That’s saying something.
WINNER (according to readers): Pedro Pascal’s anxiety, 31.7%
Who Had the Best Press Tour This Year?
UNC OF THE YEAR
Unc is a term that means many things. Uncle. Slightly older person who is out of touch. A respected coworker whose experience you lean on. A mentor.
More than anything, being unc means coming to terms with your age and your status in life. It’s not about accepting your limitations. It’s about leaning on your strengths.
Here are our nominees for Unc of the Year…
Lifetime Achievement award goes to this gentleman.
40U Football Players - risking CTE for the love of the game is what it’s all about. Without this outlet men in their late 30s would have to direct their passion into brewing their own beer and trading crypto. A sinister thought.
Philip Rivers - returned to the NFL after 5 years, nearly led the Colts to a win, almost got up gracefully after falling down. Impressive as hell.
Joey Chestnut- reclaimed the Hot Dog eating contest award after a year of leaving it on the mantle. Fun Fact - he owns 55 (!!!) eating contest records. Dude makes Shohei Ohtani and Air Bud look like one dimensional athletes.
Chicago Pope - REMINDER: you can be Unc regardless of your age. He unfortunately lost the Pope of the Year award to Kentavious Caldwell Pope (providing meaningful minutes in year 13 while stretching the floor and guarding multiple positions is hard to do) so this would be a nice little win for him.
Ochocinco - for always continuing to grow in retirement and never letting the horny die. God bless this man.
WINNER (according to readers): Philip Rivers, 41.7%
Who Was The Unc of the Year?
DF AWARDS PT 1: FULL PODCAST
Getting bored of reading? Try watching or listening instead. We broke all this shit down on the podcast this week. Part 2 coming Friday. Let’s fricking go.
BALD OF THE YEAR
Fuck going to Turkey for a hair refresh. This is the year that celebrities and society leaned in and decided to accept their flaws. To be brave. To be bold. To be bald.
The candidates for Bald Person of the Year are as follows….
Shave it off Johnny. It looks good.
Cynthia Erivio: for excellence in red carpet security
Pitbull: for excellence in spreading bald awareness to the haired community
Dwayne the Rock Johnson: for excellence in weight change and longest standing ovation.
Jeff Bezos: for his contributions to the space travel and meme community.
Vin Diesel: lifetime achievement award
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Jaylen Brown: just embrace the bald and shave it off, brother. Can’t be having this.
Bald Ann Dowd: excellent Twitter follow, not actually bald in real life. Maybe next year, toots.
Johnny Sins: lifetime achievement award
WINNER (according to readers): Cynthia Erivio, 29.6%
Who Was the Bald of the Year?
CURSED SNACK FOOD INNOVATION OF THE YEAR
Science is an incredible thing. When used in the right away, we can create technological marvels. The Internet. Hot Tubs. The everything bagel.
When used in the wrong way, we can create monstrosities that defy the limits of reason and common sense. Things like this year’s nominees for Cursed Snack Foods…
Let’s celebrate last year’s winner, the Will Levis Mayo Perfume. The perfect product
Frida’s Breast Milk ice cream: actually shocked that Sydney Sweeney didn’t endorse and promote this product this year. I know at least Homelander or Nathan Fielder would be lining up to purchase
Papa John Garlic Bath Bomb: the start to any perfect date night and the ONLY way to scientifically prove your lover is not a vampire. Throw 4-5 of these into a big bath with some pork loin, carrots, and onions, wait 6 hours, and you’ve got yourself a pot roast.
Heinz Ketchup smoothie: am I crazy in thinking that this might actually be good??
9 volt battery flavored chips: this was created by a Netherland company to ‘capitalize on nostalgia.’ Finally, someone is capturing the feeling of licking a battery and jolting your entire body with tingly metallic sensations. Why is no one else doing this?
Progresso Soup Drops: these are chicken-noodle soup flavored lozenges for cold and flu season. If they don’t collab with Bowling for Soup for a catchy and inspiring jingle by the end of the quarter, I’ve lost all faith in Big Soup’s marketing teams.
WINNER (according to readers): Breast Milk Ice Cream, 38.9%
What Was the Most Cursed Snack Food of 2025
Wayyyyy more awards to come. Stay tuned and enjoy our our world famous Horny Awards while you wait.