The Daily Friday: Monday 9/11

It’s another week in paradise. Here’s what you need to sound smart today.

1. Today marks the 22nd anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. The tragedy’s enduring legacy, more than two decades later.

2. Coco Gauff, 19, brings the US Open trophy back home while Djokovic breaks Grand Slam record with 24th win. That’s my GOAT.

3. Anyone else feeling at peace after 7 Hours of Commercial Free Football yesterday? NFL Week 1 wraps up tonight as Rodgers makes his Jets debut in the Meadowlands.

4. Deion and Co knock off Nebraska in Boulder (and storm the field) while Bama falls to Texas in Tuscaloosa (Saban hot seat?) and Dr. Locks goes undefeated in his Friday picks.

5. Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher wrote a letter of defense for convicted rapist and That 70’s Show costar Danny Masterson. Here’s what you need to know.  

But first, a brief reminder to check out our new referral program. Share the newsletter with enough people and you could win a trip to Nashville.

Let’s get into it.

ASHTON AND MILA IN HOT WATER

Word of advice: if someone is accused of rape by multiple victims, don’t write them a public character letter.

Last week, That ‘70s Show star Danny Masterson was sentenced to 30 years in jail for rape. On Friday, it was discovered that co-stars Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis (who are married) wrote character letters to the judge to support Masterson and all hell broke loose.

Here’s what you need to know.

• In the letters, Kutcher and Kunis seem to discredit the victims, which especially sucks because they are public faces of anti-sex trafficking organizations. I for one cannot believe that a celebrity would be hypocritical.

• One of the victims, ex-girlfriend Chrissy Bixler, called out Ashton on her IG story, claiming he was ‘just as sick’ as Danny and referenced a phone call from February 21, 2001, the night Kutcher was supposed to go on a date with Ashley Ellerin, who was murdered by a serial killer. Wait, what the fuck?

• Since then, videos have emerged online of Ashton talking about then 15 yr old Hilary Duff as ‘one of those girls we’re waiting to turn 18,’ making a bet with Masterson about kissing Mila Kunis when she was 14 and he was 20, and more. Early 2000s was a different time but it wasn’t that different. Shit is still creepy. 

• The couple has since posted an apology video from their home that is widely being criticized as indicating regret that the letter became public knowledge, not that the letter was written.

POWER NAP NATION

Who are these 18-24 year olds that are taking 80 minutes naps twice a week? Not nap shamming, I’m just jealous. We need to normalize nap culture so we don’t have to wait until we’re 55+ to enjoy a little mid-day snooze.

I want to live in a world where 2-3 pm is blocked off on calendars worldwide for a global siesta and we all can catch some quick Zs under the desk as God intended.

NFL: Ravens’ JK Dobbins out for year after tearing Achilles, this ref day-to-day after getting his shit rocked (respect for getting that flag out.)

Tua and Tyreek set records, as Tua throws for 462 yards (most yards allowed in Chargers history) and Hill has 3rd career game with 200+ yards, multiple TDs. Gonna be an electric 3 weeks until Tua gets another concussion.

I’ve never related to an NFL player more than this.

Sloppy offense in Week 1 as Burrow throws for 82 yards in 24-3 loss to Browns (yuck), Daniel Jones gets sacked 7 times in 40-0 loss to Dallas (owie), and Steelers average 6 centimeters/play in first half of loss to 49ers (perfectly acceptable size for an American male.)

CFB: This commentator really just went for it huh? You know he practiced that in the mirror that morning and thought it was gonna be a banger.

Michigan State head coach Mel Tucker suspended for sexually harassing anti-rape activist Brenda Tracy. Great culture up there at East Lansing.

I’ve seen a lineman catch a TD, but this has to be the first I’ve seen throw one.

MLB: Yankees pull out W in 13th after getting no-hit through 11, as Brewers waste what may have been the catch of the year.

Does 50 Cent pitch for the Royals?

OTHER: Team USA fails to medal, losing to Canada in OT. I hate that we proved Noah Lyles right.

UFC post fight interviews are insane. Imagine this happened in any other sport?

WHAT ELSE IS GOOD

Teaser for Elon biography (out tomorrow) reveals that he and Grimes have 3 children, named X Æ A-Xii, Exa Dark Sideræl Musk, and Tau Techno Mechanicus. And this dude is upset when people use pronouns.

Freedom is dead. Kanye’s wife Bianca forced to hold pillow over chest to cover her exposed nipples in Florence. I didn’t realize Mussolini was back in power.

Escaped murderer (covered here) still on the loose, has stolen a white van, shaved his face and showed up at his friends’ houses to ask for help. This is like the most cliche bad guy things you can do. Be better.

The Wedding Scabber? Unions will picket Drew Barrymore’s morning show, which returns to air despite WGA strike.

MONDAY MOVE

Fuck yeah. Gotta respect a man who just man-handles his lunch like this.

Rip this move today at the office in clear vision of your boss so he knows you’re so busy grinding that you don’t have time to open a sandwich bag. Promotion incoming.

STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED TODAY

• America may never recover from this video.

• The Glamorous, Lonely Life of Private Chefs.

• Slate tried to say Martin Short wasn’t funny. It totally backfired.

• Who’s afraid of Lorne Michaels?

• I rewatched this Tik-Tok maybe 5 times. Laugh out loud fever dream.