Trump announces Patriot Games, a 4 day athletic event pitting a high school man and woman from each state against each other. Clearly he just watched Hunger Games (but better) and was inspired. Completely understandable.
Netflix announces video podcast deal with PMT, Spittin’ Chiclets & Ryen Russillo (Life Advice & Chill??) while YouTube announces they will broadcast The Oscars in 2029. Humanity should be done by then, I wouldn’t stress it.
Epstein Files scheduled to be released today, after House Democrats released photos from the estate featuring Bill Gates, Google founder Sergio Brine, Steve Bannon and more. Perfect time to go to war with Venezuela.
Fast-Casual Chain Wars heat up, as Taco Bell reintroduces the Quesarito & Chipotle drops a Protein Cup (exactly what it sounds like.) I won’t be happy until Panera brings back the Death Lemonade. Tryna see God tonight.
Sunday will be the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, as we start to turn the corner towards spring (assuming the groundhog comes through.) We’re almost there, boys and girls. Keep pushing.
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THE DAILY FRIDAY AWARDS
We are keeping the 2025 Daily Friday Awards rolling today (check out our first installment from Wednesday) and throughout the rest of the year, ending with our world famous Horny Awards (respect to 2024’s winners.)
PLUS - we’re breaking these awards down in depth (w/ an interview with Matilda Lawler, the star of HBO’s Welcome to Derry) over on the Daily Friday Podcast. ENJOY.
BEST MOVIE PRESS TOUR
There’s no business like show business. And the only way to stay IN business IN Show business is a good viral press tour. Here were our 5 favorite press tours this year.
Forcing us to spend a summer debating jeans vs. genes may have been the worst way to promote a movie ever (not your fault Ms. Sweeney, just saying.)
Timothee Chalamet’s Marty Supreme tour: Chalamet is on an all-time hot streak. The fake marketing Zoom call was a piece of art (also a big fan of this extremely fuckable popcorn bucket) but joining up with Druski was the pièce de résistance (French term that means like best idea ever or something.)
Pedro Pascal’s anxiety that lets him grope women. All-time spin zone from Pascal. The Coldplay kiss cam CEO should’ve whipped this one out and he might still have a job today.
Wicked’s everlasting press tour: it’s hard to keep track of these but yes, there was a new press tour this year with the two skinniest women in America. Big fan of Ariana Grande skipping interviews ‘out of solidarity’ with Cynthia Erivio, who lost her voice. Need to start pulling that move at the office.
Tom Cruise fucking loves movies: the entire Mission Impossible press tour centered around Tommy C’s pure, unadulterated joy around the movie experience. Popcorn shaming, iconic press tour quotes, inventing new pocorn eating methods. What else do you really need?
Ice Cube’s War of the Worlds being so bad you had to watch it: a 0% Rotten Tomatoes ranking is hard to do, but it does make you want to watch. I want to stress this might have been the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but I would absolutely watch again (full review here.) That’s saying something.
Who Had the Best Press Tour This Year?
UNC OF THE YEAR
Unc is a term that means many things. Uncle. Slightly older person who is out of touch. A respected coworker whose experience you lean on. A mentor.
More than anything, being unc means coming to terms with your age and your status in life. It’s not about accepting your limitations. It’s about leaning on your strengths.
Here are our nominees for Unc of the Year…
Lifetime Achievement award goes to this gentleman.
40U Football Players - risking CTE for the love of the game is what it’s all about. Without this outlet men in their late 30s would have to direct their passion into brewing their own beer and trading crypto. A sinister thought.
Philip Rivers - returned to the NFL after 5 years, nearly led the Colts to a win, almost got up gracefully after falling down. Impressive as hell.
Joey Chestnut- reclaimed the Hot Dog eating contest award after a year of leaving it on the mantle. Fun Fact - he owns 55 (!!!) eating contest records. Dude makes Shohei Ohtani and Air Bud look like one dimensional athletes.
Chicago Pope - REMINDER: you can be Unc regardless of your age. He unfortunately lost the Pope of the Year award to Kentavious Caldwell Pope (providing meaningful minutes in year 13 while stretching the floor and guarding multiple positions is hard to do) so this would be a nice little win for him.
Ochocinco - for always continuing to grow in retirement and never letting the horny die. God bless this man.
Who Was The Unc of the Year?
DOC’S LOCKS
Welcome to the grind. We got another beautiful slate of football this weekend. Time to make bank with some picks from Dr. Locks and Glue Guy on tonight’s action.
SEASON RECORD: 27-21
#10 Miami at #7 Texas A&M: Miami +3.5
#11 Tulane at #6 Ole Miss: Tulane +17.5
#12 JMU at #5 Oregon: JMU + 20.5
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STUFF TO CLICK WHEN YOU’RE BORED
The Downtime Toons x Almost Friday Pod collab will feed families. This is the only way I want to consume clips for the rest of my life.
Read this on your lunch break: When Did Everything Become So Performative?
Didn’t realize it until this week, but this truly was the year of twins in Hollywood.
Willy and Rusty tried every bar on Catalina Island. And it showed. (The boys were DRUNK in this one. Just how I like it.)
The 20 Worst Things on the Internet in 2025 was a delightful read. Well done, Garbage Day.
It’s the last Friday before the holidays hit. Fuck it. 15 minutes of The Other Guys blooper and gag reel. Greatest movie of all time.
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